Are you are a real grammar queen (or king)? Or are you one of those who really don’t care what their writing is like so long as it sells? It matters not which one you are; the important thing is this – the very last thing you want is to look like an idiot copywriter.

When you look like one, your clients do too and that is never a good thing for business.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not about to give you a lecture on spelling or grammar. Not by a long shot.

Producing high-quality content is about far more than following the standard principles of writing. And you really do need to consider that the English language is alive; it evolves all the time and new phrases and words are continuously introduced.

Because of this, we cannot simply dismiss new phrases and words as ‘bad English’ but there is a line that you really should not cross, whether you are a writer or an editor. There are words that simply don’t exist, will never exist, are a blatant misuse of English and will make anyone who uses them look like nothing more than a clown.

There are many of these words and I’ve picked just five of the very worst that I have ever seen:

Fine toothcomb

A toothcomb is a very real thing; it is a dental arrangement that is like a comb and it is found in some animals. What it isn’t and never will be is an instrument for combing your teeth. What the writer should have put was ‘fine-toothed comb’, inferring the idea of combing through something in great detail.

On Tenderhooks

Many years ago, new cloth would be hung and stretched or suspended on frames. This was to stop the material shrinking and the process was called Tenting, mostly because it looked much like a tent. Hooks used to hold the material were called tenterhooks.

That’s the background – please, stop writing tenderhooks instead; it isn’t right, it isn’t real and it is meaningless.

Sort-After

Oh, you would be surprised at how often this is used. Very often, you see this in property sales literature, for example, “a sort-after location”. The problem here is that you are seeking after something not sorting after it so the correct phrase to use when you talk of something in great demand is “sought-after”.

In the Throws Of

The word is actually ‘throes’ and it comes from a very old word, ‘throe’, which means a struggle or violent pain. When you are in the throes, you are going to a lot of effort or pain to get through it – what you are not doing is throwing it or throwing anything, for that matter.

Irregardless

You cannot say this. You just can’t. You can say ‘irrespective’, you can say, ‘regardless’ but ‘irregardless’ just isn’t a word.

All copywriters have one main task – they must explain to their readers, clearly, what is being offered and why they want it. It all means nothing if your credibility and trust are destroyed because you use words like those above.

There is an even bigger benefit

Avoid using these, and other, words, and your sales will fly high. And you won't get the grammar police knocking on your door either.