As a writer, I am always looking at ways to make my characters more three dimensional, especially villains. I recently came across the term Gaslighting and thought I would do some investigation into the term. Gaslight originates from the 1938 stage play of the same name, about a man who successfully convinces his wife that she is insane. He does this by gradually undermining her belief system. The term has now been used by medical professionals to describe the systematic manipulation used in abusive relationships.  

What is gaslighting? This is when one person controls another over time, until the victim questions their perception of reality or the beliefs they once held. For those of us who have never fallen victim to this, it may seem unlikely. However, the control is executed so subtly that, by the time the victim realises what is happening, the damage has been done. Gaslighting can also be used by any character in a powerful position, politicians, employers or any sort of leader. Their goal is to grind down their victim's self-esteem and willingness to think for themselves. As a writer, the subtlety of their villainous behaviour is full of possibilities, and if you add narcissistic traits to their personality, you have created a purely evil antagonist. These are some of the tactics used by the abuser. 

Everyone has told a little white lie at some point in their lives. Their intention is to save a person's feelings in most cases. However, gaslighters lie with a malevolent intent to undermine the victim and place themselves in power. They can lie while looking into the victim's eyes. When they have convinced the victim of one lie, they will gradually make the lies bigger and more outlandish until their judgement is totally out of kilter.  

In the case of an abusive relationship, the gaslighter will explain away criticism of their behaviour as jealousy. So, in fact, the blame is taken away from themselves and placed squarely onto the shoulders of the person trying to help the victim. The victim becomes isolated; they abandon their friends until their only means of support is their abuser. Now the gaslighter has free rein to abuse their victim without interruption. Gaslighters will deny their guilt even when there is evidence to substantiate it. Although the victim will find this denial frustrating at first, as the abuse escalates, the line between reality and fantasy becomes blurred. Finally, the gaslighter can tell their victim black is white and they are likely to believe it. 

The gaslighter's words and actions are never consistent with each other. They may use abusive language then bring you breakfast in bed, for example. The victim will be left feeling confused and questioning the gaslighter's motives and their own emotions. Why do they feel so hurt if they are being told they are loved?  

A gaslighter will verbally attack anyone or anything they know you hold in high esteem. This could be family members, children, your parenting skills or your intelligence. Little by little, they will take away anything you are proud of, until your self-esteem is non-existent. They will accuse their victim of being selfish, obsessive or talentless.  

A gaslighter is an emotional leech. Gradually through consistent insults, abuse and torment, the victim becomes too tired to argue or question the validity of lies. The perfect victim for the gaslighter is a person who has already fallen victim to an abusive relationship in the past. They need little work as they are already suffering from low self-esteem.  

A gaslighter is not the evil villain constantly. They will throw in acts of love and kindness so the victim's defences lower, only to criticise and abuse them again shortly afterwards. They thrive on the victim's mental instability and confusion, and are experts at projecting the blame from themselves onto their victim. So, for example, the gaslighter could be having an affair, but they will continually accuse their victim of infidelity. The victim s so busy trying to prove their innocence, they have no energy to investigate what the gaslighter is doing. 

A gaslighter will work to discredit the victim to people in their social circle until their character is completely tarnished. The victim has now developed the belief that their abuser is right, and even if the victim secretly disagreed, who could they turn to for support? Friends and family have gone, and the only people left are the gaslighter and his circle of friends.