“Don’t send us any more of your work,” one publisher wrote. Another publisher did a complete edit of a work I submitted on spec, pointing out everything needed to make my story publishable. I did the corrections and sent it back only to get a curt, “Why are you sending this to me again? I’ve already rejected it.” To make matters worse, I noticed my story was published about six months later under another author’s name. Granted, it wasn’t word for word, but my thesis was obvious.

Face it: rejection is painful, and it can make us angry. But what can we do about it? Not much, except endure the pain and keep on writing. We just have to remind ourselves that there is a publisher out there for our work; we just haven’t found them yet. The key point is that we are never alone in the rejection game. One thing all writers can be assured is a natural part of their lives is rejection.

Some of the greatest writers in history have been rejected at one time or another, Charles Dickens being one of them. Did he give up? Obviously not, because we’re still reading and applauding his work to this day. Some of these famous writers have been very creative with their stack of rejection letters: using them as wallpaper for their outhouse or even creating works of art like collages. Whatever works for you, rejections do have a purpose grander than the basic task of making writers feel like rejects. I know the “Don’t send me…,” rejection was upsetting, but I recovered.

So, how do we live with rejection? This is what I do. I read the rejection thoroughly, especially if it’s an original meant for my work only. Form rejects aren’t worthy of reading beyond the simple line, “We have decided not to use your work at this time.” This type of letter is harmless in that it doesn’t destroy what we’ve created. And, it leaves the door open for future submissions, which I have done. My two-year stint of writing for Recipes Only magazine began with a rejection letter. I sent in another sample on spec and was rewarded with some suggestions to improve the piece. I did and I wrote for the magazine until it published its first book (including some of my work) and then discontinued printing the magazine.

I take note of what other authors have said about rejections. Sylvia Plath wrote, “I love my rejection slips. They show me I try.” I like to add to that line that perhaps it’s not our work that’s being rejected, but rather we’ve not yet found the right publisher to appreciate what we’ve written. So, I carry on. I continue to submit my work even after it has been rejected multiple times.

Several pieces did the rounds of publishers for over a decade before finding the right publisher. My story, “The Long Farewell,” is a story about grief and losing one’s best furry friend. I wrote it after my heart dog, Misty, passed away. It did the rounds as a personal essay, but no one was interested. In 2023, it was picked up for Laura Lee Cascada’s anthology, “The Dog Who Wooed at the World” which was published the following year. I’m glad I didn’t give up.

Rejection letters are an important, if sometimes painful, part of a writer’s life. We can’t avoid them. We can’t please everyone all the time, so we should just focus on pleasing ourselves. Feeling sorry for ourselves and wallowing in misery just because our next best seller (in our personal opinion) wasn’t picked up by the first publisher we contacted is not going to see our work in print. Remember, the rejection is about the story you submitted, not you. And it was probably written by some editor who was going through a mound of manuscripts, feeling a little rejected him/her/themselves, and decided to lash out at the next victim – you. Or, judging from the growing number of form letters passing as sustainable rejections, the unwanted letter in your mailbox may have been AI-generated, possibly a random selection of which manuscript to reject next.

The best advice I can give to any writer is to “soldier on,” “fight the good fight,” and keep on writing (and sending out your work. You are a writer, and you will find the right fit for your work. Never give up.