Showing instead of telling is one of the first tips new writers learn. Newbies may write, “he looked embarrassed,” but as they gain experience they write, “he covered his face with his hands.” Now we know he’s embarrassed without having to be told.

However, for some writers the tendency to tell instead of show may be difficult to overcome. So they do both! Here’s a sentence from a book a new writer sent me to edit:

      He got fed up, stomped his right foot, and threw his backpack at me.

The writer first told us the character was upset (“He got fed up”) and then he showed us (“stomped his right foot, and threw his backpack at me”). There’s no need for the “got fed up.” We know he’s fed up because of the actions of stomping his foot and throwing the backpack.

Sometimes the reason that writers both show and tell is that they’re uncertain if readers will understand the scene. But trust your readers. If you show them, they’ll get it.

All this is not to say that we can’t ever both show and tell. Writing is an art, not a science, and perhaps a scene is so important, or so complicated, that we’ll want to do both. But we don’t want to both show and tell using only narrative, as the writer did above. Nor do we want to both show and tell using only dialogue. Instead, use narrative to either show or tell, and add dialogue for the other one.

An important scene in one of my novels is about how my protagonist, who works in TV news, is upset because he has to go back to work to help cover a breaking news story. When his boss calls to tell him he lets out an audible sigh over the phone. The sigh, which is in narrative, shows his unhappiness.

But because the scene is critical to the entire book, I emphasized it by also telling. The scene continues with the boss responding, in dialogue, to the protagonist’s sigh:

       “It’s the news business. You know that. You work when we need you.”

The complete scene both shows and tells, using narrative to show and dialogue to tell.

While we’re on the topic of showing instead of telling, there are two more points.

Don’t write narrative that merely tells and then try to make it stronger by using more vivid verbs.

Some fiction writers try to add excitement by using terms such as exclaimed or shouted.

      The captain exclaimed that they should leave, that the ship should get away now.

That’s weak writing. Instead, try:

     The captain said to get his ship out of there. Now.

Better yet, change the narrative to dialogue.

     “Get my ship out of here!” the captain said. “Now!”

Use action tags instead of dialogue tags to show who is speaking, rather than telling your readers who’s talking.

Don’t write:

     “It’s a beautiful day,” she said.

     “Yes, it is,” he replied.

     “Let’s go to the beach,” she suggested.

This is better:

     “It’s a beautiful day,” she said.

     “Yes, it is,” he replied.

     She pulled a tote bag from the closet. “Let’s go to the beach.”

Better yet, if your readers will know without doubt who’s doing the speaking dispense with the dialogue tag altogether. There are only two people in the above conversation. Readers will know that he must be replying to she, so write:

     “It’s a beautiful day,” she said.

     “Yes, it is.”

     She pulled a tote bag from the closet. “Let’s go to the beach.”

Be careful here. Some writers switch between speakers in long passages and don’t use either action tags or dialogue tags to indicate the speaker. Their readers get confused about who’s talking. But as long as there’s no doubt about who’s speaking it’s fine to dispense with dialogue tags.