Harald's Gold

A DNA Love Story

Fiction - Thriller - General
508 Pages
Reviewed on 09/04/2024
Buy on Amazon

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Author Biography

Jack Dancer is like a human pinball, bouncing through life with all the finesse of a drunk elephant. Born with a silver spoon (which he quickly pawned for beer money), Jack’s seen it all—from the gutter to the penthouse, sometimes in the same week.

By 11, he realized Santa was just Dad with better marketing. At 13, he discovered girls weren’t icky. By 14, God seemed as real as his dreams of becoming a pro yodeler.

At 16, high on hormones and low on common sense, Jack and a trio of teenage dreamers headed for New York. Instead of fame, they found themselves living in a basement with a wino until Jack’s dad dragged him back home.

Lesson learned? Hardly. It was just the opening chapter in Jack’s “How to Piss Off Authority” guide.

By 18, he’d landed at a Florida school for sociopaths, which earned him a “get out of Vietnam” pass. He hitched to Boston with a new wife and cat, dove into the counterculture, and worked as a welder for a defense contractor. Life’s full of contradictions.

Jack’s resume reads like a drunk’s dartboard: ice cream man, boardwalk barker, welder, snake oil salesman—sorry, advertising executive.

He’s been married four times (one lasted 28 years, one was a hiccup), and fatherhood taught him that kids are like tattoos on your face—seemed like a good idea at the time.

In Jack’s world, life’s simple: no sequel, no refunds.

    Book Review

Reviewed by Grant Leishman for Readers' Favorite

Harald’s Gold: A DNA Love Story by Jack Dancer is a spectacularly clever and funny tale of Viking gold, sex trafficking, Scottish mysticism, and ancient lore. Tucker Blue has signed up for a two-week tour of Scotland where he's hoping to meet his soulmate, as arranged through a DNA match, along with many other couples on the all-expenses-paid tour. When Tucker arrives in Scotland, he is stunned and overwhelmed by the gorgeous and vivacious Dr. Billie Skye who he has been matched with. The group discovers from their tour guide that, as part of the excitement of meeting and hopefully falling in love with their DNA-matched partner, they can also participate in an unofficial hunt for the legendary golden nugget of Viking Harald Hardrada. It was brought to Scotland in 1066 and supposedly left there after Harald was killed during their botched invasion of England. The nugget was said to be so large that it required sixteen men just to carry it. Visions of great wealth surge through the participants and thoughts of finding their soulmate may well take a back seat. Throw in a cadre of kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls, dreams of Scottish independence, a mad doctor seeking to harvest and grow organs, numerous vendettas, and a good selection of ghosts, ghouls, and faeries, and you have all the makings of a hilarious and exciting adventure. You see, almost everyone on this adventure is not who they appear to be.

Harald’s Gold is a broad, sweeping epic with so many twisted and fascinating characters and sub-plots that readers will be left gasping for air at times but will not put this book down as it is completely addictive. Author Jack Dancer has created a treasure trove of ridiculous and stereotypical characters and yet has managed to infuse them with believability. I particularly appreciated the many story arcs that beautifully dovetailed into each other. Perhaps the most interesting of these characters was Billie Skye and her supposedly deceased twin brother William, now appearing in the narrative as Fiona. I particularly appreciated Fiona's transformation, not just physically but mentally, morally, and even spiritually, as she transitioned and shed the ruthless-killer persona of her past. I did appreciate the joy Fiona felt as she tricked Tucker into believing she was Billie. Some of the best scenes occur when the fables and mysticism of the Gaelic side of Scottish culture merge with these modern-day adventurers. Of particular pleasure was the arc where several of the tour party went beneath the streets of Edinburgh to cross between the living and the dead and encountered the most beautifully drawn and horrific scenes of debauchery and carnage imaginable. The writer’s imagination and creativity shone through this arc wonderfully. I liked the summary at the end where the author traced the journey of the amazing gold nugget from 1066 until it was lost to recorded history. That gave the entire narrative the feeling of believability. Primarily this story is funny and farcical and yet the many layered undertones of history, relationships, and ancient lore give it some real gravitas which just serves to deepen and broaden the enjoyment to be had from this book. I haven’t enjoyed a book as much as I did this one for a long, long time and I highly recommend it.

K.C. Finn

Harald's Gold: A DNA Love Story is a work of fiction in the thriller, action, and suspense genres. It is best suited to mature readers owing to the presence of explicit language, sexual situations, and graphic violence throughout. Penned by author Jack Dancer, our plot follows Billie Skye, a tough-as-nails doctor, who discovers a Nigerian boy with bulletproof skin. Years later, she’s pursued by a Hausa warrior sent by Nigeria’s president, mistaking her for her mercenary twin, Fiona. Fiona’s mission is to rescue Nigerian schoolgirls from organ harvesters while posing as Billie. Meanwhile, Billie and her DNA-matched lover, Tucker, race across Scotland to find a legendary Viking treasure. Amid Scottish legends and high-tech marvels, Billie and Tucker navigate a chaotic adventure, complicated by Fiona’s undercover operations and a host of quirky characters.

Author Jack Dancer has crafted an exhilarating and wild thriller packed with action, humor, and unexpected twists to keep readers hooked from the first page. Billie Skye’s character is a refreshing blend of toughness and vulnerability, and her chaotic journey alongside Tucker is both thrilling and hilarious with some really enjoyable dialogue exchanges and plenty of banter. There’s a unique and entertaining flavor to the narrative, which is peppered with little details to enhance the underlying humor, and the pace never leaves you long without a new twist. The dual storyline of Billie’s pursuit and Fiona’s undercover mission created a dynamic plot with lots of interconnected elements that kept me eagerly turning the pages, and I felt very satisfied with how different conclusions and revelations tied in and made sense by the end. The unfiltered portrayal of mid-life love added a sense of realism rarely seen in this subgenre, making the characters’ struggles and triumphs all the more relatable and engaging. Overall, Harald's Gold is a rollercoaster ride of adventure, humor, and heartfelt moments that I would certainly recommend to thriller fans everywhere.

Gaius Konstantine

“But hell, a man could get used to this kind of crazy. The good kind, the kind that sets your blood buzzing and your heart thumping in your chest.” Secrets, villainy, treasure, and love are just a sample of what awaits readers in Jack Dancer's novel Harald's Gold: A DNA Love Story. Tucker Blue has met the woman of his dreams, and her name is Billie Skye. She should not be confused with William Skye, who is her brother or was before he became Fiona. Tucker, Billie, and a few newly minted couples who are not what they appear to be embark on a series of escapades revolving around myths, treasure, and human trafficking. As one mystery leads to another, our heroes are tested to maintain their sanity and may realize that the greatest treasure of all is not what we find but what we create.

Delightfully daft, Harald's Gold by Jack Dancer is far-fetched, fun, and amusingly absurd. The book is a raunchy adventure thriller with multiple plots that create a page-turning mystery. The story involves legends, a treasure hunt, and the promise of true love, but at its core, it's about the fight between good and evil. The character development is whimsically preposterous but brilliant, and Jack has created some truly fascinating individuals. The pacing varies, with fast and slow moments, giving it the feel of an adrenaline-pumping carnival ride. What stands out most is the setting, which, like the characters, blurs the lines between reality and imagination. Overall, it's a wonderfully written and original tale with a touch of Gaelic supernatural lore that will satisfy mature fans of multiple genres.

Rich Follett

Harald’s Gold: A DNA Love Story marks the return of Jack Dancer’s protagonist Tucker Blue, last seen in Dancer’s equally enthralling Spanish Prisoner. The dashing and intrepid Mr. Blue heads off to the wilds of Scotland this time, encountering murder, human trafficking, black market organ trading, myth, legend, Fae folk, a doppelganger, and, most of all, as always, romance, this time with the ravishing and multi-layered woman of mystery Dr. Billie Skye. Existing Jack Dancer fans will be wholly satisfied; new fans will be utterly astonished. There are very few contemporary writers capable of interweaving complex plot components and scores of characters as deftly as Jack Dancer. To that end, a handy dramatis personae appears at the beginning of the book; similarly, a chronological list of significant historical events pertaining to Harald’s Gold follows.

Harald’s Gold by Jack Dancer is a masterfully plotted, impeccably crafted thrill ride through real history featuring larger-than-life fictional characters, Scottish myths and legends, exotic locales both actual and supernatural, and spine-tingling cat-and-mouse intrigue worthy of inclusion among the best efforts of the genre’s eminent talents. It should be noted that Harald’s Gold is not for the faint of heart: explicit sexual scenes and dialogue appear throughout the narrative (Tucker is, apparently, the equivalent of pheromonal catnip to the fairer sex), and curse words are sprinkled generously from start to finish. As a pleasant diversion for language lovers, Jack Dancer is a world-class purveyor of both simile and metaphor – the text is ornamented with some of the juiciest and most visual examples of both found anywhere in contemporary fiction. Part romance, part historical fiction, part thriller, Jack Dancer’s Harald’s Gold truly has it all – readers who sign on for Tucker Blue’s Scottish adventure will enjoy a thrill ride for the ages.