At the Very Heart and Soul

A Common-Sense Guide to Appreciation and Gratitude for Couple Relationships

Non-Fiction - Relationships
172 Pages
Reviewed on 03/09/2020
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Author Biography

I wanted to help couples with long-term relationships to deal with the many issues they face through the years. The easy way out is to leave your partner when the going gets tough. My book gives you a much better option by discussing in down-to-earth terms how to deal with things we all face in long-term relationships. I use practical application exercises at the end of each chapter to hit issues head on. I also encourage journaling and sharing sessions with your partner.
I am a retired Associate Professor of Business Management with a Master of Science Degree in Labor Relations from West Virginia University. I used my human relations background to deal with appreciation and gratitude on a more personal level at home. I live in Fremont, Ohio with my wife, Mary, of 41 years. We have two wonderful children, Molly and Tim Jr.

    Book Review

Reviewed by Sefina Hawke for Readers' Favorite

At the Very Heart and Soul (A Common-Sense Guide to Appreciation and Gratitude for Couple Relationships) by Timothy N. Gocke is a non-fiction self-help book that would appeal most to married couples looking to improve their relationship through appreciation and gratitude. The author not only shares how to improve one’s relationship, but also explores how modern living with hectic work schedules, current technology, and day-to-day stress has come to place more pressure on long-term relationships. The author shares his own experiences and years of wisdom in the hope of helping couples to help themselves. Are you ready to begin learning about the need for appreciation, gratitude, and how to overcome narcissistic tendencies?

At the Very Heart and Soul is a well-written and practical guide that I found to be very informative. I personally have witnessed a lack of appreciation and gratitude and the harm it can do to others in some of my loved ones. This book really serves to highlight how far a bit of appreciation can go in improving relationships not only between adults but also in families with children. I found the author’s explanation for how the familiarity stage of the relationship is often when couples begin to stop showing appreciation for each other and how this can negatively influence the relationship. This made a lot of sense to me and matched up with my own observations. Overall, I am very glad that I read this book as I feel the knowledge I gained from it will help me to manage my future long-term relationships in a healthy manner that will include appreciation and gratitude.

Edith Wairimu

At the Very Heart and Soul: A Common-Sense Guide to Appreciation and Gratitude for Couple Relationships by Timothy N. Gocke shares valuable insight for married partners. In the work, Gocke borrows from his life experiences and observations as well as from his knowledge in the field of human relations. At the heart of the messages in the book are two themes: gratitude and appreciation. Appreciation for one’s partner is emphasized in the work as an alternative to complacency and taking one’s partner for granted. The book explores the challenges that couples face and how these can be overcome. Such challenges include emotional events that happen over the couple’s lives, disagreements arising from different points of view, changes in the personalities or general viewpoints of a partner over time, among others. Each topic is explored sufficiently and practical solutions are offered for every challenge identified.

In many ways, At the Very Heart and Soul by Timothy N. Gocke is relatable. First, the work is written in a down to earth style as it acknowledges the difficulties married partners face while still providing practical solutions. Gocke also includes his own experiences as a father and spouse. The practical application questions and discussions offered at the end of each chapter help in making a reality of the advice offered in the work. The book also offers accessible ways every couple can use to enliven their marriage experience. In chapter eight, the work explores small but meaningful things that partners can do every day to strengthen their relationship. At the Very Heart and Soul by Timothy N. Gocke is an insightful book whose advice can be incorporated daily or during different phases in a marriage.

Vernita Naylor

Relationships can be challenging especially with those that we profess to love. Over a period of time, we tend to treat strangers better than our partners. In At the Very Heart and Soul: A Common-Sense Guide to Appreciation and Gratitude for Couple Relationships by Timothy N. Gocke, you will experience the heart, understanding, and approach of how Timothy was able to appreciate the essence of a healthy relationship. In this book, you will learn and embark upon a lot of things that you probably never considered' from the importance of touching to understanding your love language. Not only will you enjoy this book but with the practical application exercise at the end of each chapter, you too will be able to gauge your relationship barometer.

This is an excellent, thought-provoking resource that can be used in several ways from one-on-one and couple counseling to relationship group settings. After you read Timothy's perspective on relationships, the practical application exercises cause you to dig deep into understanding not only your mate but yourself. You will learn that your perspective and interaction with others reflect the results that you'll receive in each relationship. Timothy talks a lot about our narcissistic (self-centered) behaviors and its impact on our relationships. For healthy and successful relationships, instead of keeping the focus on self and what you can get out of the relationship, why not make a paradigm shift and think about your mate and others instead. As Timothy points out, beginning with Dr. Chapman's The 5 Love Languages would be a great start. Enjoy!