Susan McAdam’s Disposable follows Lilah Black, who has spent her life under the thumb of Grandma Audrey. Her mother calls her the biggest mistake of her life. Lilah struggles with choking nightmares she can't explain, and her only refuge is Indigo, the loyal best friend who feels like home. She receives a scholarship to Augustine College. It is her perfect escape from a life of shame and belittlement. But freedom comes with strings as her mother schemes to marry her off to Eric Miller, the pastor's son. The church demands an exorcism for her “dangerous” eyes. Then she meets Dr. Rhys Harper, a tattooed mythology professor whose lessons on ritual surrender awaken an energy she has suppressed for years. As Lilah uncovers the truth about her "saintly" dead brother Callum and her father's hidden half-million-dollar trust, she must decide whether to remain the family's disposable girl or finally write her own destiny.

Susan McAdam’s book had me smitten. The first-person voice carries the story with grace, and Lilah’s perspective is crafted with biting humor, even as she dubs herself “Death’s favorite dance partner.” The author writes about religious hypocrisy in a way that forces readers to rethink their faith and how they practice it. The story is propulsive, with secrets in each chapter, from the masked parties behind Marlowe’s black door to Callum’s diary scrawled in frantic red ink. The world feels intimate and Gothic, carefully constructed with Rhys's book-lined mansion, patchouli-choked campus halls, and Marlowe's shadowy aisles. Disposable is the journey of a girl who faces her shame and reclaims her freedom to write her own story. It will appeal to literary fiction fans and readers who enjoy sophisticated female heroines.

Disposable by Susan McAdam is about Lilah Black, a young woman whose childhood was shaped by rejection and grief. Lilah was never good enough in her mother's eyes. At eight years old, Lilah was caught in an intensely private moment by her grandmother. This experience becomes intertwined with her early, naïve belief that adulthood will finally bring her freedom and the certainty of knowing exactly what she wants. Lilah has spent her young life making herself smaller because of her brother, Callum. Callum’s memory is constantly held up as the perfect son. Lilah's understanding of her family begins to fracture when she finds information about Callum that was withheld from her. Lilah is forced to question everything she had believed about herself, her family, and her place within it.

Disposable by Susan McAdam was intriguing, and I was hooked from the start. The action starts as soon as Lilah begins questioning the version of her childhood she has always accepted. The pacing is steady and relaxed. I could not turn the pages fast enough; I had to know what would happen next. I had a hard time putting the book down; I was too afraid I would miss something. I enjoyed watching Lilah grow throughout the story. She starts as an insecure young girl and transforms into a woman willing to confront her past as she experiences rejection, grief, and emotional abuse throughout her life. The writing style is engaging, and the events are descriptive. The book was beautifully written and held my attention throughout. I enjoyed reading it, and the ending was just perfect.

Disposable by Susan McAdam tackles a difficult subject rarely broached in new adult fiction: childhood sexual abuse. In it, a young woman, Lilah Black, lives in the shadow of an older brother who died young. Her family conceals the circumstances of his death, which strangely leaves Lilah feeling responsible for it. However, her mother and grandmother make it clear that her brother was the perfect child while she is decidedly not. Luckily for Lilah, she escapes the family trauma by enrolling in a Christian college where she rooms with Indigo, who, like Lilah, doesn’t fit the mold of a traditional Christian girl. They become fast friends, which helps Lilah grow in confidence. She also develops another close relationship with a handsome and unorthodox college professor, Dr. Rhys Harper, who teaches Comparative Mythology, Folklore, and Ancient Rituals, which leads to Lilah discovering the disturbing truth about her family’s past.

I really appreciated how well author Susan McAdam develops her protagonist, Lilah Black, who becomes a heroine well worth rooting for. Despite her wretched upbringing, she possesses intelligence and resilience, though she often lacks common sense as so many young people do. In addition, the author shows restraint in her development of the romance between Lilah and Dr. Harper. There is considerable steam between the two as they pursue a consensual dominant-submissive relationship, but no graphic imagery. The book is also beautifully written with its literary style and natural use of dialogue and even humor, dark though it may be. A surprising read, Disposable should especially appeal to young women who have also survived childhood trauma and struggle to find their own paths to independence and fulfillment.

Disposable by Susan McAdam follows Lilah Black as she struggles to find her identity. Lilah grew up being shamed and always being compared to her dead older brother, Callum. He was the golden child of the family who could seemingly do no wrong. As Lilah starts digging into her deeply messed-up, overly religious family, she uncovers some disturbing truths about her childhood and about Callum himself. These are the truths that make her question everything she was ever told about herself and her family. Through a mix of dark humor and honesty, the book follows Lilah's journey to finally becoming the person she was always told to hide. But before she can become that person, she needs to dig deeper and fight every demon.

Susan McAdam created a dark story about a person finding her place in the world and being happy with who she is. Lilah is sharp and funny even in her darkest moments, and that made her so easy to root for until the end. Her grandmother was such a chilling character. The very first scene with her had me hooked right away. I loved how each new truth about Callum kept reshaping everything I thought I understood about this family. It is worth pointing out that the novel deals explicitly with childhood sexual abuse, religious shame, and BDSM-themed adult content tied to that trauma. The connection between Lilah and Rhys was intense, maybe because it was frowned upon. Their relationship was exactly what they needed to thrive, especially Lilah. Disposable is an excellent and enjoyable read.