Taking Back Your Life After Years of Abuse

Non-Fiction - Womens
171 Pages
Reviewed on 03/03/2016
Buy on Amazon

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    Book Review

Reviewed by Lorena Sanqui for Readers' Favorite

Enough! Taking Back Your Life After Years of Abuse by L. David Harris is a resource book that can greatly help victims of abusive relationships. It talks in great detail about the definition and kinds of abuse, how to escape from it, and the different organizations or people whom victims can ask for help when they want to leave the relationship. The book is intended for victims of abuse in a relationship or those who are not certain if they are in one. The author also discussed the possibilities of why a person would enter or stay in this kind of relationship.

Working in the healthcare system, I have come across women and men who have been victims of abuse, be it physical or psychological. I picked up this book in the hopes of finding more ways to help these people. Enough! Taking Back Your Life After Years of Abuse by L. David Harris sought to give the victims a way to escape from these destructive relationships and I believe that the book has accomplished its goal.

The book is incredibly thorough and comprehensive. If the reader is indeed in the kind of relationship mentioned in the book, they will be able to relate to what the author is talking about and will be relieved that the book offers solutions to their problems. A difficulty one might face would be to execute the plans suggested, even with the help of this book, because ultimately it would still be the victims who will be taking back their lives after years of abuse. The statistics mentioned are staggering and this is a really serious issue that doesn’t get much coverage, so I recommend this book to everyone, be they in an abusive relationship or not. We may never know when the knowledge this book offers will be used either by us or people we encounter.

Jack Magnus

Enough! Taking Back Your Life After Years of Abuse is a non-fiction self-help book written by L. David Harris. The author introduces his subject with an analysis of domestic abuse and how to identify it. While many think that an abusive relationship involves physical abuse, there are other forms of abuse that often occur in relationships. Sometimes those other forms can escalate into a physically abusive relationship, and they should also not be taken lightly. Harris argues that the abused should not consider that they are at all to blame for their abuser's behavior, no matter what they might have done, and he explains how many abusers were abused as children. He discusses the cycle of abuse and offers a self-protective strategy for safety and escape for those victims who cannot immediately leave home. For those who are ready to actively prepare to leave, he provides lists of documents and other items to have ready, and ideas for sheltering after leaving home. Harris also includes a chapter filled with links for legal, immigration, shelter and other forms of assistance.

L. David Harris's non-fiction self-help guide, Enough! Taking Back Your Life After Years of Abuse, is a well-written and clearly presented work that helps identify domestic abuse and offers strategies for coping and eventually leaving the relationship. I was struck by the depth of this author's research into the topic and his perceptive and caring tone of voice. His psychological profile of the abuser is bound to help those readers who've long felt that somehow they were to blame for their abuse and who mistakenly think that if they are very careful that they can control their partner's anger and somehow change things. Harris not only offers reasons why this is a doomed and dangerous strategy, but he dispels a common misconception that couple's therapy is the solution for an abusive situation. His discussion of abusers and abusive relationships is followed by a thorough set of guidelines to help those who have decided to leave do so efficiently and safely. This is a most impressive work, and I highly recommend it.

Hilary Hawkes

Enough! Taking Back Your Life After Years of Abuse by L. David Harris is a non-fiction self-help book for anyone (but in practice mainly women) who are living with an abusive partner. The book helps victims recognize and acknowledge the abuse and take steps to protect themselves and their families, get help and leave the relationship. Chapters cover all types of abuse: physical, sexual, emotional and psychological; explain what happens and why in the normal cycle of abuse; the damaging effects on victims and any children; how to come to terms with the reality of the relationship including knowing it is never your fault; making safety and escape plans and leaving.

I found L. David Harris’ book informative and sensitive and the writing style clear and very readable. The importance of not blaming yourself and seeing the reality of the situation, what causes perpetrators to abuse etc, comes across well, and I felt this was important as so often victims feel guilty or to blame and helplessly stuck. The sections on how and where to get help, legal advice, custody for children etc are immensely practical and useful and give a manageable step by step system for putting things in place before leaving the relationship.

The author stresses the importance of self-care and getting the right kind of counselling too, which I felt gives the book a positive, motivating and encouraging tone - what is surely needed for those trying to find the courage to get themselves (and possibly their children) away from the harm of abuse. I also felt the author understood the fears victims often have, the low self-esteem and reasons for staying, and how to overcome these enough to help themselves. Enough! Taking Back Your Life After Years of Abuse is a book that is on your side. It offers comfort, practical advice, motivation, and the information victims need to begin to rescue themselves, build themselves up, and find the life they deserve.