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Reviewed by Karen Pirnot for Readers' Favorite
Confidence in Conflict for Everyday Life is a compact read from author Kathy Mangold. Most of us are, at times, confused by the reactions we get in social situations. What we intended to say or suggest is not necessarily taken in a positive light and we become frustrated and uncomfortable. The author stresses that gut-level responses are rarely the way to go when dealing with volatile or potentially volatile situations. Neither do we need to yield to the desires or demands of others by backing down. Effective communication is not something that is inherent in most people. Rather, the skill is learned through a trial-and-error approach. We need to step back and learn from our conversational mistakes.
Author Mangold urges readers to leave emotions, and especially angry emotions, out of a conversation lest one's behavior becomes the focus of attention rather than the issue itself. Confidence in Conflict for Everyday Life is sort of a primer for what not to do as well as a lesson in how to resolve tense situations. By adapting a critical listening approach, the author believes that most people can anticipate the "punches" yet to come in a conversation. Then one can avoid becoming the patsy by taking a logical and tactical approach to positive responses. Besides active listening, you need to be able to resolve conflict by doing perception checks in order to know that both parties to the conversation are conceptualizing issues in the same way. Although the book is not a particularly new idea in conflict resolution, it is a great book to begin building skills which will defuse a situation before substantial damage is done.
