Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky is a heartbreaking true story of how one boy survived an abusive family. Troy Eklund’s mother, Teri, was manipulative and unstable, living a drug-addicted life of crime, and subjecting Troy and his sister to a violent, abusive upbringing. Addiction and violence were part of their life, creating dangerous living conditions with a mother who constantly told them, “Don’t tell.” As Troy grows up in fear and shame, his life is one long struggle of isolation, addiction, and anger. This true account is a shocking insight into what goes on behind closed doors, and of how what happens in childhood can have far-reaching effects.

Don’t Tell by Teresa Schapansky is a tragic tale of how one man survived an abusive upbringing and how it affected his life going forward. Troy’s story is told through his own memories and those of others around him, people who saw parts of his life. Nobody should ever have to go through abuse of any kind, especially not children, and least of all from someone who is supposed to nurture them through life. It’s a hard read, and it may be triggering for anyone who has been through anything similar. This powerful story reminds us that abusers demand silence because it protects them, not the person they are abusing. It’s a well-written account, with strong writing full of emotion, and it clearly conveys the horrifying childhood Troy had, his struggles as a man, and his desire to heal and tell the truth about what happened. It’s an eye-opener into a world that no child should ever have to live in, and it gives the little boy inside Troy the voice he should have had all along. Be prepared to read this in one sitting and to be shocked to your core. This isn’t just for people who have lived through abuse; it’s for everyone, a warning that we all have a duty to be vigilant and protect children from a life they should never be forced to live.

Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky honors the heartbreaking but profound life story of the late Troy Eklund. The memoir takes us through a childhood lived in complete uncertainty, as Troy moved from one run-down home to another, including an off-grid cabin, across British Columbia. Raised by an abusive mother who was heavily involved in the local drug trade, young Troy was subjected to abuse, severe neglect, and exposed to adult vices from a very early age. Sadly, he was ordered, on many occasions, to keep these dark family secrets hidden from others. This proved to be a burden that isolated him from the outside world. Yet, despite the overwhelming hardships he endured, Troy did everything he could to find solid ground through his education, running track, and working on commercial fishing vessels. In the end, his life is a testament to the incredible inner strength required for a child to hold on to their humanity, while instability grows all around them.

There’s no sugarcoating it: Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky is a heavy, raw memoir that genuinely impacted me. It takes a hard look at real childhood abuse and a lack of systemic support, making it a very difficult and emotional read. But Troy’s voice came through with heartfelt honesty. What stood out to me the most was how the book incorporated eyewitness accounts from his uncle, sister, adult friends from his youth, former babysitter, and high school coach. Hearing those different perspectives really validated the grim reality of what Troy endured and showed how much people in the community really cared for him. The memoir completely avoids sensationalism, focusing rather on the actual psychological strain children endure while carrying family secrets for decades. If you’re drawn to honest accounts of survival, resilience, and the lifelong journey toward healing after childhood trauma, then this book is definitely for you.

Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky is the gripping memoir of Troy Eklund, a young boy who suffered at the hands of his own mother and never got to enjoy a normal childhood. All Troy knew while growing up was a life of scavenging, stealing, and a house full of drugs and random men. He thought it was normal and did not understand when others made fun of the way he lived with his drug-addicted mother, Teri. To make matters worse, Teri went above and beyond to make money, scamming people and putting Troy’s life in danger. Despite being a good student and athlete, Troy’s school life was affected by his continuous absences. And when he started doing drugs himself, Troy found himself stuck in a cycle he could not escape.

Don’t Tell is an emotional read that will make your blood boil and make you realize the importance of helping others, especially children who desperately need protection and support. It shows how abusive and dysfunctional family environments badly shape one’s understanding of the world and affect one's future. The story is told by Troy and other people who knew him and his mother. It is shocking and very sad that a vibrant and promising man had to go through so much trauma. Teresa Schapansky’s work is well-organized with intriguing chapters and photos of people mentioned in the book. Troy’s story covers many lessons on determination. Despite experiencing many setbacks, he showed strength and a strong will to reclaim his life and find his self-worth. His courage to tell his story and own up to his mistakes was really formidable. If you want to understand how abuse, addiction, and neglect can break a person, then this book is absolutely worth your time.

Don’t Tell by Teresa Schpansky is about growing up in an abusive household and recounts the life experiences of Troy Edward Eklund. Sadly, he passed on before the book was published, and the content is based on his personal memories as told to the author. Much of what he shares is corroborated by several other relatives and friends who were present at various periods of his life. This is an all too familiar tale of physical and sexual abuse, plus drugs of all kinds. Like many children born into grossly dysfunctional families, Troy did not know any other way of life or how ordinary families conducted their lives. He was aware of the constant uprooting of his home, the change of schools, and the frequent male friends his mother cohabited with, some cruel, some kind. It was inevitable that Troy himself would pick up similar habits and also fall prey to drugs.

In places, Don’t Tell is told from many different eyewitness accounts. Teresa Schpansky faithfully records Troy’s memories of growing up in the shadow of his mother Teri, a totally irresponsible adult. Troy was a gifted athlete, but any chance of him succeeding in life was thwarted by his family circumstances. He learned early in life not to tell the truth to outsiders, but in later life reasoned it was important to share his story. He hoped that readers in similar situations would tell the outside world. The latter part of the book includes witness accounts and lists the times that Teri was in and out of prison. As a charming narcissist, she attracted many admirers, and her watchword to her children was: 'Don’t tell.' It is a heartfelt narrative of a life partially wasted with the uncertainty of a regular education and a future family.

For anyone who has suffered abuse at the hands of someone they should have been able to trust, this book may speak to you. This book will open your eyes to a world that children don’t deserve to live in, although sadly, some do. Don’t Tell will raise awareness to what hides in plain sight, because you can’t see it or hear it, and in this case, it was because young Troy had no voice.

The events in this account are powerful, shocking, saddening and rage-inducing, and incites the feeling of utter helplessness, because Troy’s life is now over and done with, and nothing can undo that. Don’t Tell is the story of a little boy so traumatized and abused, that it sounds almost unbelievable. Is it even possible that a woman, a mother, someone meant to love and nurture, really could have been such a monster? By all accounts, yes.

This book gives a voice to a little boy who had none, until as an adult he turned to a childhood friend and asked that she serve as his voice, his advocate, his cry to be seen and heard.

We see you, Troy. We hear your voice, even though you have now gone silent in death. It will carry on as your legacy with this book. May those who read, hear; those who hear, listen; those who listen, speak out and stand up for any child who has yet to be heard.

Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky is a deeply distressing survivor narrative centered on childhood abuse and long term psychological trauma, told through the perspective of adult reflection on suppressed and recovered memories.

A defining strength of the book is its emotional candor. The narrative does not soften or obscure the severity of the experiences described, instead presenting them in a direct, unflinching manner that underscores the long-lasting impact of childhood abuse on identity, memory, and emotional development.

The structure rooted in personal recollection and eyewitness accounts creates a fragmented but powerful testimony. This approach reflects the nature of trauma memory itself, where clarity, suppression, and resurfacing often coexist in uneven but meaningful ways.

Another notable aspect is the author’s framing of survivor voice and accountability. The work positions itself not only as a personal account but also as a broader statement about the responsibility of caregivers and the devastating consequences when that responsibility is violated.

The tone is intentionally heavy and is clearly not intended for casual reading. Instead, it serves as a testimonial record aimed at bearing witness and giving voice to experiences that are often hidden or silenced.

Overall, Don’t Tell will primarily resonate with readers of survivor memoirs, trauma studies, psychological recovery narratives, and readers engaged with social and familial abuse awareness literature.

“Don’t Tell” is not a literary text nor a narrative essay about abuse; rather, it combines features of a childhood reminiscence, a social expose, and a testimonial to the life of a friend irrevocably marred by trauma, misunderstanding, and rejection, as well, of course, by abuse and addiction.

Although Teri commanded her child not to tell, our society needs to listen to Troy’s story and better protect vulnerable children. We all failed Troy. Teri may have repeatedly told Troy, “Don’t tell” but we are fortunate that he did in such compelling detail, with both pathos and humour.

I do not often read non-fiction. If I think about why, I prefer to be entertained by something made up with some sense of believability, rather than having to visualise the reality of some people’s true lives. And whilst Don’t Tell broke with that preference, I am so very glad I did because whilst this was not an easy read, wow was it a wakeup call to appreciate the tragedy of some people’s lives.

At the heart of Don’t Tell is an abused child who has grown into a very troubled man. What particularly caught my attention was the way the author not only revealed the trauma of the young and older central character, Troy, through his own eyes, but also the impact and influence of those others in his life, both good and bad.

It is difficult to summarise my feelings for Don’t Tell but the author’s command of the written word to describe a truly brutal life was both compelling and riveting. I can honestly say, I am glad I did invest my precious reading time absorbed in it. It is a book that has stayed with me since reading the final page.

Highly recommend.

I received a free copy of "Don't Tell" from LibraryThing. I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, but it didn't disappoint me. It was well written and sad, horrifying and optimistic. A sad story about a horrifically abused child telling his story as an adult.

Don’t Tell is a deeply moving and courageous firsthand account from Troy, offering an unflinching look at what a childhood of neglect and abuse can do to a person over the course of a lifetime. This is not an easy read, but it is an important one. The book does an excellent job of illustrating how early trauma doesn’t simply fade with time, it shapes identity, relationships, and the way a person moves through the world long after childhood has ended.

This story does not follow the traditional path of a neatly wrapped, happy ending that many readers might hope for. Instead, it offers something more honest and, in its own way, meaningful. What remains is a sense that Troy found his peace, along with a family and circle of friends who continue to share their memories of him and find solace in those reflections. That authenticity is what makes this book so impactful.

The writing is heartfelt and well done, and I truly appreciated the insight into a life and experience that deserves to be shared. Don’t Tell is a sobering reminder of the long-term effects of childhood trauma, but also a testament to the importance of telling these stories even when they are painful. I would recommend this book to readers who value honesty, depth, and real-life perspectives that stay with you long after the final page.

Don't Tell was a very emotional book that touched my heart deeply. It is definitely an eye opener for the abuse that no child should EVER withstand. Troy did not deserve what he had to endure through his young age. I wish he was able to speak up and tell someone who would have been able to help him.

"Don't Tell" is one of those books that kept my interest from the beginning to the end. Before you get to the first chapter, there are the "Prologue" and the "From the Author" section. Based on those 2 sections of the book, I couldn't wait to get to the chapters. Troy tells his story of physical and sexual abuse and how growing up in an abusive household affected him as a child and as an adult. Near the end of the book, there is a section of perspectives from acquaintances of Troy (family, friends, teachers) and their take on what they knew or didn't know about the abuse and neglect happening to Troy. In the end of the book, there are photos of Troy and his family. I liked that because it allowed me to put a face to the names mentioned.

***Booklife Reviews does not use the star system of rating - 3 was used only to fill in the field***

Eklund’s heart-breaking memoir, written by his former classmate, Teresa Schapansky, and published posthumously, begins with Schapansky’s chronicle of Eklund’s death after a “lifelong battle with drugs.” The reason for that devastating trajectory quickly becomes clear, as Eklund’s traumatic childhood story unfolds. Raised under his mother Teri’s rule of "don't tell”—which became something of a mantra during his youth—Eklund recounts the men in and out of his and Teri’s life, constantly moving due to Teri’s criminal activities and break-ups, witnessing her drug use and overdoses, and being a victim of human trafficking starting at just six years old. The narrative takes shape through Eklund’s direct memories as well as chilling accounts from family and friends that fill in the gaps from Eklund’s reflections.

Schapansky takes great care in sharing her friend's story, highlighting both happy and dark times with empathy and emotion. Eklund’s account delves into the horrors he faced while under Teri’s care, while other narrations—Teri’s brother, Eklund’s younger half-sister, babysitters, family friends, Teri’s ex-husband, and more—recount a tragic environment of unspeakable trauma. Many of the perspectives Schapansky shares hint at the frustration and despair that marked outsiders’ attempts to protect Eklund, including Dennis, Teri’s ex-husband and the father of his half-sister Sonja, who fought for custody of Eklund but was unsuccessful. “I knew that Teri was not at all fit to be a mother,” he writes, though he acknowledges he wasn’t aware of the full extent of her wrongs.

Despite the suffering readers glimpse through Eklund’s story, what emerges is a tribute to his resilience and efforts to carve out a different life for himself as an adult. Snippets of Eklund’s poetry and personal photographs give intimate weight to the narrative, illuminating Eklund’s courage as he refuses to stay silent any longer. This is a heartrending, powerful rebellion against those who attempt to suppress victims of sexual assault and childhood abuse.

Takeaway: Son’s heartrending account of trauma inflicted by his abusive mother.

Great for fans of: Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died, Rex Ogle's Punching Bag.

***Midwest Book Review does not use the star system of rating - 3 was used only to fill in the field***

The events narrated in Troy Eklund’s story Don’t Tell were never meant to see the light of day – not if the engrained childhood admonition to never speak of these events was followed.

Thankfully, as an adult, Troy Eklund disregarded this mandate in favor of the healing that comes from exposure and truth, and so Don’t Tell survived to see the light of day and provide hard-hitting revelations about family secrets, abuse, and survival tactics. Unfortunately, Eklund did not survive his struggles, and so this book is a posthumous creation based on Teresa Schapansky’s interviews.

By now, readers should have absorbed that Don’t Tell holds many trigger warnings and comes with a caution that the story won’t be uplifting or easy. It will be worth the read, for those interested in emotionally charged accounts of achieving recovery, becoming invincible by truth-telling, and firmly grasping second chances in life.

One of Eklund’s purposes in crafting this narrative is to expose a toxic mother who, on the face of things, seemed the best mother in the world. Another is to chronicle how a child can survive living long-term in the eye of a storm of abuse at home, and how addiction in his home is delivered with a mandate to never reveal the truth about what was taking place.

Perspectives shift in this story, reaching out to embrace the observations of friends and others privy to parts of Eklund’s story, such as babysitter Colleen Olson. The incorporation of these disparate viewpoints strengthens the story and outlines events from different vantage points to lend further insights into how addiction, abuse, and family secrets evolve.

Few other memoirs offer the immediacy and family insights of Don’t Tell. The spotlight may be on Teri Eklund’s choices and abusive ways, but it also lands on the impact of this childhood on adult Troy, who battles his own demons as a result of an ongoing lack of emotional support:

Mom, in her unique, loving way wasn’t pleased that I’d stuck to my guns and had proven both her and Bill wrong. She spoke not a word of praise and her facial expressions made it clear that she was less than thrilled that I was earning a decent living and enjoying a good, clean life.

In particular, the legacy of the mandate “don’t tell” comes to roost in unexpected ways as the child grows into a man and the mother/son relationship shifts:

By the fifth grade, I had begun to see mom in a different way, and it felt as though a dynamic relationship shift had occurred between us overnight. For every inch I’d grown taller and broader, she’d decreased in size proportionately before my very eyes. There were multiple times, when I’d caught her stealing looks in my direction with a hint of fear in her expression. I knew without a doubt and with every inch of my being, that this stemmed from every single incident in my life, when she had ordered, “don’t tell.”

The result is a powerful chronicle of parenting, family ties and secrets, addiction and crime, and recovery and love that will draw and immerse readers in many ways.

Libraries and readers seeking hard-hitting, emotionally impactful memoirs that come not just from a son’s experiences but the insights of everyone around him, from ex-husbands to babysitters and family friends, will find Don’t Tell a powerful force. It deserves consideration for book clubs, emotional support groups, family counseling circles, and anyone interested in the road to personal liberation from past experiences.

***MBR Bookwatch does not use the star system of rating - 3 was used only to fill in the field***

Compelling, detailed, and a testament to the life-long impact of early child abuse and parental neglect, "Don't Tell" by the late Troy Eklund and deftly written by Teresa Schapansky is an extraordinary and candid memoir that is unreservedly recommended reading for anyone with a concerned interest in the subject of sexual assault, child abuse, and abuse recovery.

Exceptionally well written, organized and presented, "Don't Tell" is a unique and very special pick for personal, professional, community, and college/university library Child Abuse/Sexual Abuse & Recover collections and supplemental curriculum studies lists.

This is a very well written, thoughtful and empathetic book about one man's very sad childhood and how he survived. It was hard to read, but at the same time it was hard to put down.

Excellent and well written book once I started it, I couldn’t put it down and once it was finished, I almost wanted to start reading it again , it’s a tragic story that is in some ways hard to believe but the way it’s written and the testimony of the people involved and knowing that the author personally knew that subject gives the reader full confidence that it is a true story . the author has a way of making you feel like you’re actually part of it . It’s an important story to tell as well. The subject wanted the story told. Hopefully it will prevent similar things from happening in the future so the book also serves an important purpose..

Well written
Heart breaking story especially since I grew up in lake Cowichan
And was in the same grade as Troy

A must read takes your breath away
My cousin Teresa is talented Author ❤️
Would be pretty amazing if this Don’t Tell book was a limited mini series

Troy Eklund’s story is a childhood full of every kind of abuse imaginable at the hands of adults, including his mother Teri who consistently told him “Don’t Tell”. Troy’s later struggles with alcohol and drugs, initially introduced to him by Teri, are all part of him not being able to deal with everything he was subjected to as a child.
Despite all he went through, Troy worked hard to make a good life for himself and rise above his trauma. He showed amazing courage in telling his story.
Teresa Schapansky, Troy’s former classmate,, writes Troy’s story with the greatest of care and heartfelt empathy.
Unfortunately Troy passed away before the book was finished. We can only hope that in being able to finally tell his story, Troy left this world with just a little more inner peace.

I have read Teresa’s books for many years now but this one is soul shattering. I was unsure if I really wanted to know this story but I couldn’t put it down once I started. She has told this sad story with compassion, care,understanding, and something not found these days and that is class.

This was such an insightful book. As a child of abuse, I felt the shame, guilt and the silence that results from the abuse that was depicted in this book was so spot on. As children we take the blame for the bad behavior of adults. My heart broke for Troy, the abused child. If anyone wants to obtain some insight into the tragedy and heartbreak that is a product of abuse, please read this book.