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Reviewed by Pikasho Deka for Readers' Favorite
I Have Never Felt Alive is a new adult slice-of-life drama by Christian Gilman Whitney. The book follows Ryan, a young man in his twenties, who returns to his hometown after receiving news of his mother's ill health. Ryan's mother has been transferred to an assisted living facility, and he is back home to make amends. However, Ryan soon discovers that his hometown is in ruins, plagued by poverty, contaminated land, gangs, and violence. Furthermore, once he gets back with his old friends, AJ and Foster, Ryan finds himself spiraling into a maze of alcohol, drugs, and sex. Meanwhile, he desperately wishes to rekindle his relationship with his childhood sweetheart, Sierra, who he realizes has changed a lot over the last few years, and there might be a new man in her life.
At its core, I Have Never Felt Alive is a character study of a young man who never felt a sense of belonging anywhere other than amid his old high school friends' circle. Ryan remains in a state of perpetual adolescence, and he struggles to move on from the things that bind him to his old hometown. Ryan has a complicated relationship with his parents. His old friends have aged, but their lives have only gotten worse. It's a very realistic depiction of life in small-town America, and author Christian Gilman Whitney does a phenomenal job with the characters. AJ's influence on Ryan is particularly relatable, and Ryan's complicated relationship with Sierra is another one of the highlights of the narrative. All in all, it's an absorbing, character-driven drama.
