The Pregnant Pause of Grief

The First Trimester of Widowhood

Christian - Non-Fiction
194 Pages
Reviewed on 04/05/2013
Buy on Amazon

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    Book Review

Reviewed by Patricia Day for Readers' Favorite

Brenda Wood’s latest publication, "the Pregnant Pause of Grief", takes the reader on a journey to understanding the emptiness and loneliness of grief. In finding out why she feels the way she does, Brenda had to begin to take the first steps into her new life. As you read you will feel her immense struggle to endure each day, as she attempts to recognize who she is and what she has to do, in this new role. Perhaps, like Brenda, you have become single after years of experiencing a role within a happy marriage or partnership. Determining how you will survive the deep, dark loneliness is one of the first new steps you will take, even though you would prefer not to be in such a painful position. Life keeps moving on with an unrelenting urging. Folks will tell you ‘to get on with your life’ or ‘how long will you keep up this crying’? Why can’t they feel what you are feeling? It is so much easier to give advice than to try to understand the inner turmoil and anxiety of a bereaved person’s anguish. When you find yourself in the role of widow or widower, or loss through separation, divorce or even job loss, you too will experience a gambit of emotions normally hidden from view.

Reading this book will certainly cause you to confront life with a set of different goals and values as you start to discover the new you. As it is humble yet gut-wrenching with the humor for which Brenda is known, you can at least relate to the roller-coaster ride of being alone and starting over. Just as Brenda did and continues to do, you will discover that life goes on regardless of you and your situation and you have to come to the point of ‘jumping back on the band wagon’ of life and get on with it, too. Well done, Brenda!

Laura Davis

The Pregnant Pause of Grief, by Brenda J. Wood is an emotional and honest look at widowhood.
Review by Laura Davis

After losing her husband to cancer, the author began to chronicle her thoughts and experiences of what she was going through. She begins with the statement, “By the end of this month, I expect to know my own name.” This sets the tone of the book and guides the reader along with the author on her journey to self-discovery. The result is a book that will bring much comfort to anyone who has lost a spouse – widow or widower.

Mixed with just the right infusion of humour, the author holds nothing back. Her emotions are raw in the face of her loss, yet her hope and her foundation for not losing herself to uncontrollable grief, is her faith in Jesus Christ. While we learn about the tender love affair she had with her husband Ron, we also learn about her love affair with God. Together they made a complete unit. God, Ron and Brenda. Now, as she adjusts to “just Brenda and God,” she learns why grieving is a good thing. At the same time, she also learns how to surrender to God each day and moment as she adjusts to the new title of “widow”.

Now you might think that this book should be read only by widows and widowers. Nothing could be further from the truth. There were many times when her words of wisdom, the scriptures she shared, and her own life experiences resonated with me, even though I deal with physical pain, not emotional.

If you have experienced loss of any kind, I would advise you to pick up this book. I only wish it had been around for my mother in-law after her husband died. She cried for his loss until the day she died, two years almost to the day of his passing. If I had this fabulous little book in my hand, I might have known what to say or do (or not do) and I know it would have brought her comfort to know that her tears were perfectly normal. She was always apologizing for them.

This book needs to be in every doctor‘s office, funeral home and church and you can purchase it here in our bookstore. You won’t regret it! I give it 5/5 stars

Marilyn Rouse

Brenda Wood has done it again. I peeked inside her life when I read “Meeting Myself, Snippets from a Binging and Bulging Mind (twice!)

Then as now, she laid her soul bare so that we might be lifted up.

Yes, The Pregnant Pause of Grief” is the story of a grief process and that there is no definitive map to follow. However it is also two love stories. First, that of our God for us and second, the ability of a man and a woman to mirror that love to each other. What an incredible gift. Thank you for your courage Brenda.

Carol Bell

Carol Bell--The Pregnant Pause by Brenda Wood brought up memories and emotions that I experienced when my wonderful husband died of CLL nine years ago; just weeks before our 40th wedding anniversary. Like Brenda, I was helped through the grieving process by God who revealed Himself through His Word and His people. Brenda's journey through the first year after her beloved Ron's death is a map for others who will benefit from her insights and ways of coping.

Carley Cooper

In Brenda J Wood’s The Pregnant Pause of Grief: The First Trimester of Widowhood; I cried with her and I laughed with her. This book touched my heart like no other I’ve ever read. Brenda writes her way through her grief of the loss of her husband of almost 50 years. I have no doubt that losing a husband of so many years is probably the worst type of grief there is, next to losing a child. However, the process can be applied to any type of grief.

All while reading about her pain and troubles adjusting to a new life, I feel as though I’m reading a romance. She explains their love so eloquently it fills my heart. They had such a great love, and it began from such a young and tender age. I can only dream that one day I will have something half as great as Brenda and her beloved Ron. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have loved the same person all your life; or more to the point, to have another person love me that much. She’s given me hope.

I’ve learned through this book that it’s OK for me to grieve for my lost loves. What’s not OK is for me to keep on holding on to it like I have been. Staying stuck in the grief is not healthy for me or my relationship with God. Brenda says “If we let our minds dwell on the past, the pain, and the loneliness, we get stuck there. But by moving ourselves into today and refusing to panic over either past or future, we do better”.

She compares losing her beloved husband of nearly 50 years to the phantom limb feeling that happens when one has a limb amputated. Like Brenda, I feel that phantom limb every time I cook a meal, every time I go shopping, every night when I go to bed, every time I see others being happy with a partner or their families. The pain is excruciating. One of the most surprising things there is to learn about grief is that we can survive it. Brenda said “I feared missing Ron, yet now I stand in the midst of that and survive.” I remember feeling much the same when I got divorced. Wow. It didn’t kill me. Who knew? I could have sworn I was dying when I was in the midst of it.

Despite her pain there is always a glimmer of hope shining through. She gives us all hope. We can survive this grief and loneliness by looking to Jesus. He is the only way to get through it and He is the best comfort we will find.