What the F*ck Do You Actually Want?

Finding a Life with Purpose

Non-Fiction - Self Help
177 Pages
Reviewed on 07/07/2025
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    Book Review

Reviewed by Jamie Michele for Readers' Favorite

What the F*ck Do You Actually Want? by Max Stephens examines how modern individuals often pursue societal goals that cause disconnection from authentic desires and others. He traces this condition to the Industrial Revolution’s shift from meaningful work to mechanization and consumerism, intensified by digital culture’s obsession with social validation. Through client examples, Stephens talks about conflicts arising from expectation versus personal actuality. He proposes three practices, Radical Honesty, Forgiveness, and Mortality, to help individuals awaken from false ideologies and build authentic lives. Stephens says that purpose arises from using one’s gifts to serve others, which fulfills intrinsic human needs for connection and contribution. He questions cultural ideals of comfort, arguing that difficulties and proactivity are the key, and defines heroes as those who choose to act for good beyond themselves and are the people who create meaningful change.

What the F*ck Do You Actually Want?: Finding a Life with Purpose by Max Stephens is a raw, clear, and brutally honest self-help guide that bucks tradition and goes straight to the heart of the issue. His approach makes even the more complicated ideas easy to understand and apply. The author’s straightforward style invites readers to rethink common beliefs and flip the switch for both ourselves and the world we live in. What stands out and what I liked the most is the incorporation of client success stories: Vanessa’s balance between career and community, Alex’s focus on genuine connection, and Danny’s intense journey to save his family business. All of these bring the author’s ideas to life in a relatable and inspiring way. This combination of practical advice and real-life examples makes the book a valuable read for all those looking to find direction and live with intention. Overall, the author's honest, tough love turned to motivational guidance will help readers cut through distractions and focus on what truly matters. Very highly recommended.

Pikasho Deka

Do you constantly feel something is missing in your life? How would you define a 'good life'? Max Stephens is a personal development coach with a history of working with high-performers, including entrepreneurs, executives, and other professionals. In What the F*uck Do You Actually Want?, Stephens provides a roadmap for readers to follow that allows them to reconnect with their intrinsic nature and discover a 'purpose beyond the self.' Through the compelling stories of three of his clients -- attorney Vanessa, university student Alex, and auto repair shop owner Danny -- the author reveals how to embrace radical honesty, practice forgiveness, and confront mortality, encouraging readers to chase goals not out of societal expectations, but out of intrinsic desire. The author also advises readers to share their gifts with the world.

What the F*uck Do You Actually Want? covers the five fundamental aspects of a 'good life' -- career, relationships, health, personal growth, and finances -- in a way other self-help books simply don't. I liked how Max Stephens uses his own client stories to make you realize that materialism doesn't necessarily have to define your life choices. Not all of the three clients are success stories. The chapters also offer practical exercises and 'hard truths,' uncomfortable insights that motivate you to self-reflect and introspect on the things you truly want in your life. The author's personable writing style draws you into each chapter as you delve deep into the issues that resonate with your own life. The book also features studies that explore topics such as the treadmill effect, manufactured desire, and the decline of meaningful connection in the digital era. Highly recommended.

Stewart Brian

What the F*ck Do You Actually Want? Finding a Life with Purpose by Max Stephens is a well-written book that seeks to explain the empty feeling we get despite being surrounded by comfort and material abundance. It reconnects us deeper to our intrinsic nature and redefines how we live. Max begins with a wake-up call that compels readers to question the comfortable narratives holding them back. He includes true stories of three clients facing the same struggles at different stages of their development. Each chapter contains practical exercises and tough truths. Max emphasizes what makes a hero and the beauty in striving for good, which positively impacts the world and brings out the best in a person. This book is an essential guide to finding a life with purpose.

In a time when I am overwhelmed by expectations and worry about what the future holds, this book gave me another perspective on living a purposeful and fulfilling life. I enjoyed reading about Max's interactions with his clients, as it felt like a counseling session, and I could relate to their struggles. This book also proved Max to be a passionate coach and writer. I found Max's writing to be unique, well-detailed, straightforward, and easy to comprehend. I loved the appendix section as it proves the credibility of the information contained in his book. The book was brilliantly organized, well-paced, and engaging. I recommend What the F*ck Do You Actually Want? Finding a Life with Purpose by Max Stephens to anyone who feels lost and confused due to life struggles.

Keith Mbuya

Living in a world where everything is already predetermined, including ideal careers, lifestyle, family, and success, many people have lost track of what is truly important to them or the purpose of their lives. Very few, if any, stop to question whether the accomplishments they are chasing are truly what they want, or if these are just ideas pushed by the system. For instance, it is not uncommon to find people in professions, careers, or even relationships that they are dissatisfied with. Some feel lost. Yet they hang on, chasing satisfaction or fulfillment that always seems to be out of reach. The result is a generation overshadowed by a deep sense of disconnection and emptiness. In What the F*ck Do You Actually Want? Finding a Life With Purpose, Max Stephens offers a roadmap of how one can connect with their authentic self and get to the heart of what really matters.

If you are a high performer who can’t shake off the feeling of dissatisfaction, a beginner who feels lost, or you just feel stuck, What the F*ck Do You Actually Want? by Max Stephens is a must-read. The author approaches the topic in an open-minded and unbiased tone. The ideas, backed by rigorous research, flow effortlessly through three sections in each chapter. The first section is a wake-up call. It prompts you to question the comfortable narratives holding you back. The second is a deeper exploration, which helps you analyze and understand the existing predicament. The last includes personal anecdotes from Stephen’s clients. These offer real-life insights into the ideas in the book, demonstrating practicality and impact. The questions and notes at the end of each chapter are thought-provoking and eye-opening. I connected with Alex’s story. Sometimes we know what we want deep down in our hearts, but we hold back out of fear of the unknown or the urge not to disappoint. This book is a treasure.

Frank Mutuma

We live in an era of abundance, but people continue to feel disillusioned. Many lack motivation, as Western culture has conditioned them to believe that fulfillment lies in an endless pursuit of more. After the industrial revolution and the subsequent technological advancements resulted in a surplus of goods, a new challenge arose of convincing people to buy more than they needed. To get out of this unnecessary cycle, an in-depth analysis of oneself is necessary. Realize that you are not the problem, but the system is. After this awakening, the goal is to rebuild and not fall back into old habits. This new path will require radical honesty, forgiveness, and morality. Other important concepts discussed in What the F*ck Do You Actually Want? by Max Stephens includes finding purpose beyond self, what it means to find true change, and its importance in one's life.

What the F*ck Do You Actually Want? by Max Stephens is wonderfully written and offers practical, life-changing steps. Its systematic structure ensures there is no room for confusion and makes it very effective in passing on the intended message. The work provides relevant examples that many readers will resonate with. Max also provides various references that can be used as a stepping stone into further reading and research. The excellent narration added to the overall beauty of the work, and the reader will also appreciate the easy-to-understand language used, which makes the work accessible to all audiences. This was a very informative read, and I look forward to more by this talented author.