Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid?

Debunking the Myths That Stop You from Finding and Keeping Love

Non-Fiction - Relationships
134 Pages
Reviewed on 05/02/2022
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Author Biography

Dr. Rachel Sims is the founder and owner of Uncomplicated Therapy, where she practices as a Professional Licensed Counselor specializing in marriage, relationships, and individual therapy. In her practice, Rachel applies attachment and cognitive-behavioral theories to assist others in pursuing and maintaining loving, healthy, and successful relationships. You can find her many helpful tips, tools, reflections on mental health, and her weekly Q&A about relationships on her highly successful Instagram account, “Uncomplicated Therapy.” She received her doctorate from Liberty University, and her undergraduate degree in education, and her master’s degree in counseling and guidance from Texas A&M-Kingsville. After working for over a decade in schools as a counselor, she chose to go into private practice. Rachel currently lives and practices in Fort Worth, Texas.

    Book Review

Reviewed by Miche Arendse for Readers' Favorite

Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? by Dr. Rachel Sims is a modern-day guide to relationships and dating. From the dos and don’ts to the advice you need to forget you ever heard from others, Dr. Sims takes you through realistic expectations, relationship advice, and modern-day examples of what you face in the dating pool. This book will give you the tools you need to find and stay in a healthy relationship.

Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? Debunking the Myths That Stop You from Finding and Keeping Love by Dr. Rachel Sims is definitely a book worth reading. I have found that when it comes to dating, much like in the book, you are met with some ridiculous bits of advice or sayings regarding relationships. This is, of course, due to everyone’s unique experience in relationships; however, it does not mean the advice you receive is coming from a previously healthy relationship and therefore can lead you astray. This book seeks to correct the issue by giving you advice that leads you to make better choices in finding and staying in a healthy relationship. I love how the author does this in stages and with the use of common myths about dating.

Throughout the chapters, there are myths with given examples which are then busted, showing the reader how these myths are false and how they can actually cause harm to your relationship. Overall, I found this book to be really insightful and empowering, giving advice that enables the reader to make better choices and go forward to build or find a healthy, functional relationship.

Cecelia Hopkins

Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? by Rachel Sims demystifies relationship mythology in a modern dating environment. Chapter 1 establishes the premise that everyone has developed unique personalities, and shows an awareness of the role of technology in modern courtship. Chapter 2 covers assumptions regarding perfect matches, playing hard to get, age, expectations, and other factors. Chapter 3 discusses reputed stumbling blocks in early-stage relationships. Then Chapter 4 covers issues ranging from family advice to excess jealousy. Chapter 5 explores mid-stage issues such as commitment and communication. Chapter 6 debates hot issues such as marriage and compromise, while Chapter 7 plunges into trouble-shooting. Chapter 8 discusses individual and couple money styles. Chapter 9 gives a summary of insights, followed by a final checklist.

Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? by Rachel Sims addresses the need for informed ways of relating. The volume offers a practical and balanced point of view without employing overly technical language and is very readable. The tone is friendly, practical and, at times, a little humorous. I liked the way the author summarized decades of conventional advice without seeming overly repetitive. The comparison of traditional homilies with reliable sources was useful, followed by the distillation of kernels of truth into pithy “Takeaway” sections. I also appreciated the author’s acknowledgment that temperaments and relationship styles vary and suggested focus on ‘managing’ expectations. I can recommend Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? to consumers of self-help books and those who like to read about human psychology.

Joe Wisinski

Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? sub-titled Debunking the Myths That Stop You from Finding and Keeping Love is a guide to achieving an enjoyable and long-lasting romantic relationship. Dr. Rachel Sims is a counselor with years of experience in working with couples. She wrote this book using 45 myths to illustrate her points. The misconceptions she addresses aren’t necessarily complete falsehoods but can be potentially damaging to relationships, whether new or long-term. Some of these myths include the belief that people should play hard to get, couples shouldn’t discuss serious topics too early, and that admitting you’re wrong is a sign of weakness. Sims clearly explains the notions and debunks them when necessary, or clarifies them when there is some truth in them. Sims provides many examples from her counseling practice.

This is a superb book. I wish it had been available when I was a young man and first started dating. My relationships would have been more satisfying and fulfilling if I had been aware of the advice that Dr. Rachel Sims provides. I highly recommend Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? to anyone, whether they are yet to start dating, still looking for a partner, are in a new relationship, or they’ve been in a relationship for years. Anyone and everyone will profit from this fine book. Sims writes in an easy-to-understand, entertaining way. The practical examples make the advice come to life and make it easy to apply the excellent information to any romantic relationship.

Pikasho Deka

Do you often struggle to maintain your relationships? Do your past experiences make you hesitant to pursue love? If the answers to one or both of the questions are yes, grab a copy of Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? by relationship expert and licensed therapist, Dr. Rachel Sims. In this book, you'll learn the origins of love, how technology isn't always your friend, and which dating myths, advice, or rules to keep and which to throw in the trash. Dr. Sims is of the opinion that despite the abundance of advice received from friends and family, it is often prudent to analyze for yourself and determine facts from fiction. Through this book, the author wishes to debunk a lot of dating myths about finding perfect love, playing hard to get, age becoming a factor, and many more.

Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? is a must-read for people who often have a hard time making the correct decisions in relation to their romantic relationships. Dr. Rachel Sims uses anecdotes from personal experiences with clients and real-life incidents to help readers experience a fulfilling love life. The author disproves some commonly held misconceptions about relationships in general and offers easily applicable advice for readers to help them navigate such situations. Dr. Sims has a keen eye for minute details as the narrative is well-researched and written in an organized and engaging style that will keep readers immersed in the pages. I found the book well-written and very illuminating. Highly recommended.

Vincent Dublado

Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? Debunking the Myths that Stop You from Finding and Keeping Love has an apt interrogative title, as Dr. Rachel Sims offers her sage perspectives on untangling the complications in your romantic relationship that you probably brought upon yourself. Either that or you simply couldn't get a break in making it work because you are too fixated on wanting what others also want in their relationships. She shares real-life situations that happened to her patients and people she has met. She takes you on a journey to discover the origins of love, how technology is changing the dating landscape, common dating misconceptions, and sifting through relationship advice--which ones to keep and which ones to throw out.

It is said that the uniqueness of every individual makes relationships complicated, but perhaps it is also because we establish lines with no clear instructions. It takes two to tango, as they also say, and Rachel Sims senses that you are not sure where your relationship is going. As she provides case scenarios with key takeaways, she drills into your expectations to make you assess the value of connection, motive, and personal communication. You may want to keep her checklist and critical points at the end of the book as well as her Myths Index. They prove to be informative and fascinating at the same time--even more when you read her take on these relationship myths. Simple and practical, Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? is the book on relationships that we all need to read, especially if your Facebook relationship status indicates that it's complicated.

Diana Lopez

Communication as a couple allows you to set limits, negotiate, and create a meaningful coexistence. Ideas need to be clear to avoid conflicts in a relationship. That's why Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? starts by explaining what love is. The theme is discussed in an entertaining but realistic way, removing the fantasy learned in the movies, and showing a purer vision. Once the idea is clear, Dr. Rachel Sims is dedicated to denying a lot of myths. She explains the difference between romance and love in a mature relationship. She also shows that a strong connection between a couple is based on honesty and trust. And at the end, there is a checklist with the most important points explained throughout the book.

Nowadays it is very important to abandon stereotypes and learn to have self-confidence. With this in mind, realistic and reasonable expectations can be created to find a partner. Unfortunately, movies show us a lot of distorted ideas, such as jealousy which is not a sign of love, but of possession. You have to understand the idea of love to maintain a healthy relationship. The basis of a relationship must be trust and mutual respect. Are You Love Smart or Love Stupid? explains in great detail everything there is to know, and that's why I really liked it. The advice of Dr. Rachel Sims is very useful, whether a relationship is starting out or if the stability of a marriage is already there. Another aspect that I liked is that Dr. Rachel Sims uses many anecdotes, which makes ideas much easier to understand.