I Teach, Therefore I Wine

Non-Fiction - Education
64 Pages
Reviewed on 11/17/2018
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Author Biography

Teachers can't live on apples alone!

Teaching isn't a profession for the weak. It takes passion, dedication, and a sense of humor. I Teach, Therefore I Wine is a celebration of the "Field" of Education and ALL that tend to it as they nurture our future.

From one educator to another...I raise my glass in honor of those that make all other professions even possible. Cheers!

    Book Review

Reviewed by Viga Boland for Readers' Favorite

You don’t have to be a teacher to appreciate the delightful flavor of I Teach, Therefore I Wine by Christina Hammons, but you will enjoy it so much more if you are, or were a member of the teaching profession at some point in your life, as I was. Oh, the memories this book stirred, so much so that I nearly wanted to start writing my own version of I Teach, Therefore I Wine. For Hammons, “teachers and wine are partners in education” and she maintains that while “Wine may improve with age…any mood will improve with wine.” At a guess, Hammons is an expert on the subject. To share her expertise and expand on this premise, Hammons uses wine colors to equate with teaching experiences and moments. For instance, some of our teaching experiences have us “seeing red” e.g. attending Professional Development days which leave us with little more than a headache; committee “windbags” for whom you need a mute button; and those miserable rainy days when recess must be indoors.

Other experiences are “white light” moments for which white wine is the perfect finish e.g. the last day of school and 2-3 months of summer vacation! But then there are the “blush” events that leave your cheeks rosier than your wine: your slacks splitting at the back seam when you bend over; the desk chair that rolls away from you as you try to sit down; or the full flush that comes when you yell at the gym class to “hold your balls” when it’s time to stop playing. With each experience, Hammons recommends a particular wine e.g. “Sassy Bitch” is a pinot noir to help you survive the aforementioned windbag; summer vacation calls for “Bliss”, a chardonnay, while “Fat Ass Strawberry Fields” is the perfect rose wine for those split pants.

To round out the author’s own experiences, she shares several true stories from other teachers. Some make us laugh; others touch our hearts. But one thing is certain about I Teach, Therefore I Wine: it’s the perfect gift for that teacher who needs a stress-relieving read over the Christmas holidays. This fabulously entertaining book would make a great choice for a teachers' book club and would most likely prompt a slew of wonderful stories. Just be sure to have a good supply of red, white or blush wine to accompany the whine-fest! Clever, brilliant, and so enjoyable. Bravo!

Jack Magnus

I Teach, Therefore I Wine is a humor book for and about teachers written by Christina Hammons. While it’s traditionally considered the noblest of professions, teaching can be exhilarating at best, and tedious and soul-destroying at worst. Oddly enough, teaching pairs marvelously with wine, as the author eloquently shows in this funny and inventive collection. For those of us who are not teachers, or may have considered at one time to pursue that vocation, she explains how red, white and rose wines are the day's end solutions to just about any experiences that occur in the vaunted halls of learning. Hammons further, and brilliantly, pairs specific wines with situations that have or are likely to occur within or outside the classroom. She concludes with a collection of zany anecdotes that could not be made up, ones that had to be real and only in the realm where teachers wake up to coffee and begin dreaming of wine.

Christina Hammons’ humorous book about education, I Teach, Therefore I Wine, had me remembering once again my decision not to go into teaching. Something about the fact that one was always on stage, as it were, a stage that was interactive and entirely unpredictable, led me away from a career that seemed otherwise so appealing: the knowledge, the interaction with growing minds, the summer vacation. The summer vacation... Hammons sums it up so brilliantly with her selection of Barefoot Pinot Grigio for the occasion of the last day before summer vacation, entitled Toes in the Water. I loved this piece with its evocation of endless summer beckoning brightly and found the pairing to be brilliant indeed. I Teach, Therefore I Wine is bound to please anyone who considered teaching even briefly and even more so those who soldier on in this most underappreciated of fields. This book should be in every educator’s Christmas stocking. I Teach, Therefore I Wine is most highly recommended.

Emily-Jane Hills Orford

Very punny. But, then again, one does need a powerful sense of humor, a clever ability to play with words, and a good bottle of wine to endure the daily challenges of teaching young minds, especially those young minds that really don’t want to be taught anything. You may think you’ve seen and heard it all, that is until you step into a classroom full of little innocents with unique minds of their own. A pre-school child is unwrapping his bedroll cover for the afternoon nap (a regular classroom activity for this age), when out bounces a thong. Show and tell takes on a whole new, almost obscene twist when a boy shows off his mom’s new toy (words aren’t needed to describe what kind of toy). And recess just got a little longer when the rain that was scheduled for later arrived with the boom of thunder, keeping the little ones inside for a rather noisy indoor recess. It’s no wonder teachers have to be on their toes all the time and it’s no wonder they often go home with a headache. Or worse. Time to stop w(h)ining and really start wining. In theory, there is a special vintage for every dilemma. And, if not, it’s time to discover one.

Christina Hammons jokingly suggested to her teaching colleagues that they should come up with a list of wines to pair with every awkward, difficult or downright humorous situation they address in the classroom. She was surprised when the colleagues took her seriously and started supplying her with stories and wines that helped release the burdens of the day. The result? Her book, I Teach Therefore I Wine. You don’t have to be an educator to fully appreciate the impact working with children (of all ages) has on the adult psyche. Merely being around children has unusual effects, often requiring an antidote. And what better antidote than a good glass of wine – a special wine chosen to deal with the specific issue at hand. Christina has coupled stories from the classroom with appropriate antidote wines to sooth the soul. The stories themselves are enough to garner a chuckle or two. And, for those retired teachers like myself, they’ll also bring back memories of similar incidents involving a lifetime of working with children. This book in itself is a perfect antidote to a stressful day in the classroom.


Such a fun read! A great gift idea for the teachers in your life. They will totally relate!!