Reviewed by Doreen Chombu for Readers' Favorite

Un-Adoptically Me by Elmarie Arnold is a poignant memoir that explores the emotional and spiritual trauma associated with being adopted. Although Elmarie was raised by loving adoptive parents, her quest to understand her roots consumed her life, significantly impacting her relationships and sense of self. When Elmarie became a mother, she began to grasp the true meaning of motherhood. After experiencing a toxic second marriage, meeting her biological mother and sister, and uncovering painful secrets about her son’s struggles, Elmarie began to connect the dots that pointed to a profound understanding of her trauma. This sparked a mystical journey of self-discovery that enabled her to navigate her relationships, find true love and freedom, and process loss and grief. Elmarie started living with purpose and direction, working through her past traumas and healing daily.

Un-Adoptically Me is not just a memoir; it is an inspiring story about breaking cycles of trauma. The pain of being separated from her biological mother and facing rejection haunted Elmarie throughout her life, affecting her relationships with her parents, her partners, and her children. She realized that she had been overly giving and compromising, to the point where she lost sight of her own identity. Many readers will resonate with her pain and struggles, finding inspiration to reshape their identities from a place of victimhood to one of victory. Elmarie shares personal insights from her journals, which connected her to the divine and provided her with peace during tumultuous times. These reflections helped her understand loss and the importance of letting go of betrayal. Her evolving relationship with her daughter and son has profoundly shifted my perspective on parental love, understanding, and living authentically. The story explores contrasting themes such as bondage and freedom, forgiveness and unforgiveness, as well as confusion and self-awareness. It is engaging and filled with poetic elements, powerful quotes, and experiences from various moments in Elmarie’s life. It covers sensitive topics like death, emotional abuse, and adoption with respect and a personal touch that allows readers to understand these issues from the author’s perspective. The memoir contains numerous life lessons that can help readers grow and face life's challenges with grace and compassion. I recommend this book to anyone who appreciates personal narratives about identity, healing, determination, and the bonds that connect us.