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Reviewed by Lucinda E Clarke for Readers' Favorite
Ken Saik's I Don’t Trust You highlights the lasting fears from childhood that we take with us as we are growing up. Jill’s father drinks to excess and becomes violent when drunk. He physically and verbally abuses his two daughters and his wife. The older child, Kathy, has already left home, leaving Jill to face her father’s rages. Her mother agrees with his accusations against Jill in an attempt to calm him down, but when Jill hears this, her self-esteem sinks even lower. Aged seventeen, she decides to run away from home. She knows she won’t finish high school, and has no money and nowhere to run. After finding a refuge, once again she is betrayed by friends whom she thought she could trust, and she escapes again. But someone comes looking for her and she continues to live in fear. Even after many years, she bears the scars of her early years, too scared to tell anyone what has caused her often inexplicable behavior.
I Don’t Trust You by Ken Saik resonated with me as I first ran away from home at the age of three, and that was only my first attempt. I bonded with Jill and felt the same fear and desperation, and yet she dared to set out on an unknown journey. I admired her bravery and her determination. As life improved for her, she still could not accept that she was a worthwhile person. I wanted her to talk about her past, tell someone, anyone, but her pride and her desire for privacy stopped her. I thought her husband Joseph was amazing, the partner every girl would long for. His patience, his love, and his pure goodness shone through whenever he appeared. Mary, Ed, Thomas, and Rebecca; I loved every character, except for those women in the church congregation. I hated how they put so much pressure on Jill and understood why she could not connect easily with them. I liked this book and was immersed in what I imagine to be small-town rural America, and the descriptions brought it all to life. There were several lyrical sentences that I liked such as “... unwelcomed infant leafy green garden guests might have lived a few days longer,” and “People litter the sand like T-shirts scattered on a department store’s discount counter.” I admire a book where there are no catastrophic events, car chases, murders, and so on, yet it takes the reader into the scenes as the story unfolds. This one certainly kept me turning the pages.