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Reviewed by Emma Megan for Readers' Favorite
I Hate You, Mary Sullivan is a unique and thoughtful memoir about inherited trauma, complex family history, and religious guilt. In it, Barbara Jean Williams talks about her immigrant Irish grandmother, her family, and how her Irish Catholic heritage impacted her life. Barbara's grandmother, Mary Sullivan (or Nana), died alone of heart failure, far from her homeland and her roots. Since then, Barbara had never thought of Nana because she never liked her. She thought Nana was mean and critical. But fifty years later, after her death, Barbara felt it was time to reconsider her relationship with Nana, to understand her, and to learn about her past. Thus, the more Barbara learned about her roots and Nana's life from the last quarter of the nineteenth century in Ireland through her sixty-seven years in America, the more she realized what a great woman Nana was.
I Hate You, Mary Sullivan is a captivating and poignant remembrance of a woman who, despite her shortcomings, dared to build a new life alone in a foreign land. It's a moving approach that can help us free ourselves and heal ourselves from trauma by discovering our ancestors' painful pasts and returning to and understanding our roots. This story reminds us that even though a person dies and we forget about them, emotional legacies can be passed from generation to generation, binding us painfully to them. Barbara Jean Williams's compassionate approach helped me better understand my religious and cultural roots. I'll never see my grandmother the same way again. I encourage anyone interested in a book about generational trauma to read this one.
