John Doe Does Not Suck


Young Adult - Fantasy - Urban
300 Pages
Reviewed on 11/09/2025
Buy on Amazon

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    Book Review

Reviewed by Makeda Cummings for Readers' Favorite

John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla is about John, a 317-year-old vampire trying to live a regular life as a 17-year-old boy in the modern world. John hides his true identity while struggling with anxiety, OCD, and loneliness. He has a pretty unique existence for a teenage vampire. He works at a diner, hopes to become a writer, worries about his overdue rent, and gets his blood supply from a hospital worker. Through journal entries, therapy sessions, and a night-school criminology class, John tries to add a little meaning to his otherwise mundane life. He truly believes he is the last vampire in the world. As the story continues, the terrifying presence of a serial killer, called the Six O'Clock Slasher, targets John's community. Will he intervene to protect the people he cares about or stand watching from the sidelines?

John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla is a darkly funny and deeply thoughtful young adult urban fantasy. It is more than your average teen vampire tale—it is a clever, emotional story that explores mental health issues in its protagonist while making a provocative statement about what it means to feel human. Through John, the author delves into profound topics such as loss, loneliness, and the power of human connection. John’s immortality becomes a symbol of emotional numbness, showing that immortality can be as painful as death when you have no purpose or genuine bond with anyone. Berla skillfully and creatively uses humor and self-awareness to question society’s ever-changing trends, which is mirrored by the novel's inside joke that vampire books just aren't as popular as they used to be. If you love stories about characters searching for belonging, grab this compelling read today.

Alija Turkovic

Kathryn Berla's John Doe Does Not Suck revolves around a 317-year-old teen vampire trying his hardest to blend into human life. He may look like a regular 17-year-old boy externally, but internally, John harbors a lifetime of regrets, pain, and severe loneliness. Despite his supernatural origin, most of his current challenges are problems a teenager would face. He is plagued by crippling anxiety and multiple mindboggling obsessive rituals. Slowly, he builds friendships with his elderly neighbor and other characters he grows to care about. He attends a criminology class to bring meaning back into his life, but ends up encountering a new kind of challenge altogether. A serial killer, dubbed the Six O’Clock Slasher, invades John's world, forcing him to make life-altering decisions. Will he reveal who he really is—or remain forever invisible?

John Doe Does Not Suck is a YA novel that aptly blends dark humor with themes of mental health and the main character's search for belonging. Intriguingly enough, one of John's main challenges is surviving in a world that is no longer obsessed with the mythology that once defined him. There is a level of authenticity that John's character brings to the story, which makes his persona relatable, likable, and sincere. Kathryn Berla delivers a deeply emotional take on the vampire genre. Instead of focusing on blood and gore throughout the storyline, John's captivating journey is actually one of healing, self-discovery, and forming meaningful connections with the people he cares about. I love how skillfully the author uses satire and self-awareness to explore serious topics like therapy, loneliness, and loss. Fans of vampire lore will love this novel!

Jamie Michele

John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla follows John Doe, a vampire living covertly in New York, avoiding sunlight, sometimes overfeeding his fish, Clementine, and feeding himself on vials of meal-delivery-style blood. By day, he hides in his coffin; by night, he works at a diner, attends criminology classes, and observes the city, all while the Six O’Clock Slasher, a serial killer, comes a little too close to home. As John and his fellow sleuths track patterns in the murders, he juggles a blossoming relationship and treatment for obsessive-compulsive behaviors, including knuckle-raps, blinking, and careful cleaning, that permeate daily life. His therapist, Bibi, gives guidance on boundaries, anxiety, and feeling followed. The trouble is, John isn't imagining being followed. It's very real and very dangerous.

Kathryn Berla’s John Doe Does Not Suck is a really well-written and intelligently witty read, in a seemingly normal cityscape where even an altruistic vampire isn't safe. Still, John tries, bless him, even carefully avoiding the sleeping woman and her dog when he's absolutely starving. I like that Berla moves between the John of the present with his authorship of the past, allowing the backstory to trickle in. John has speed and the ability to echolocate, coming in handy when Istvan, a blast from the past, decides to step out from the shadows. It's John’s relationships with friends and allies, from instructing Fernando and Peter to supporting Angela and Henrietta, that humanize him. There are quite a few moving pieces, but Berla makes them click into place cleanly, making this, overall, a heartening and thoroughly entertaining read.

Rabia Tanveer

John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla is an exciting young adult urban fantasy with a fantastic vampire protagonist and an interesting plot. The story follows John Doe, a 317-year-old vampire who believes he’s the last of his kind. Destined to a lonely eternity, John has adapted to a quiet existence until a criminology class project pairs him with Angela Ruiz. Angela is everything he isn’t, a sharp and determined student who knows what she wants. When the two decide to investigate the infamous Six O’Clock Slasher serial killer, John’s world begins to unravel as the clues suggest he may not be as alone as he thought. What follows is not only a thrilling search for a killer but a moral reckoning. It forces John to choose between preserving his isolation and confronting a truth that could cost him everything.

Author Kathryn Berla makes sure readers are hooked to the story the moment they read the blurb. I loved John Doe in all his snarky and sassy glory. Berla’s take on vampirism is refreshingly grounded. I love how John’s immortality is less about glamor and more about guilt, anxiety, and the psychological toll of living too long. He has obsessive compulsive disorder, he needs a human connection, and he finds what he is looking for in Angela and the Six O’Clock Slasher serial killer case. The chemistry between John and Angela is also entertaining. I loved their witty banter and how well they complemented each other. Angela made him almost human again, and that was fantastic. I loved the dark humor, the incredible character development, and the overall feel of the story. John Doe Does Not Suck was more entertaining than I anticipated, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Essien Asian

In Kathryn Berla's John Doe Does Not Suck, after wandering the earth for nearly three hundred years, John Doe believes he is the last vampire on the planet. He has learned to blend in by getting a regular job and taking courses to stay up to date. Despite facing a looming overdue rent and numerous social issues, he is drawn to a criminology class he recently started, mainly because of his assigned partner, Angela Ruiz. Angela wants them to investigate an old case the police haven't solved in over a year, involving a killer known only as the Six O'Clock Slasher. John isn't very interested in the case, but as clues begin to accumulate, he starts to feel that his past is about to catch up with him in ways he won't like.

In John Doe Does Not Suck, Kathryn Berla uses flashbacks to reveal John Doe's backstory. The author uses a realistic tone in the narrative through Doe's references to vampires as victims of a virus, while discarding popular vampire concepts in the world-building, some of which are pretty funny, such as Doe's thoughts on the dangers of garlic. The dialogue is easy to follow, shifting between lighthearted and sometimes downright humorous moments, like Doe's first encounter with Angela, and darker, more serious scenes, especially during his therapy sessions. The storytelling style layers clues like a nesting doll, slowly revealing details that draw readers deeper into the mystery. A skillful blend of comedy and fantasy results in a fun novel that fans of both genres will enjoy.