No Tears For my Father

No Tears For my Father

A True Story of Incest

Non-Fiction - Memoir
291 Pages
Reviewed on 06/25/2014
Buy on Amazon

Author Biography

Viga Boland is retired and busier than she's ever been! She blogs, facilitates memoir workshops for writers at her local library, runs around doing book talks and signings, and has just dobbed herself in to help develop the Hamilton twig of the Canadian Authors Association. A writer since her teens, Viga is an award-winning poet and the published writer of articles, book reviews and interviews with writers in both Canada and Australia.

At the request of readers and fans of her Gold Medal winning memoir, "No Tears for my Father", Viga has just self-published Part 2 of her memoir, titled "LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF", which is a memoir of recovery from abuse and individual growth through the love of husband and family. This book, is above all, a love story.

"No Tears for my Father" has been catalogued by 7 libraries in Ontario, Canada. The PRINTED, SIGNED copies of Viga's books are available for purchase ONLY directly through the author's website at http://www.vigaboland.com

    Book Review

Reviewed by Michelle Randall for Readers' Favorite

No Tears For My Father is a non-fiction book and, that being said, there are some readers unable to handle the subject matter of the book. Viga Boland recounts her life with an abusive father, not only physically but sexually as well. She does not sugar coat the truth, but she does not get graphic just to sell books either. She walks a very fine line between the truth and reality, and she does so very well. This book follows her from her earliest memories until she writes this book, with most of the coverage being during the time she lived with her parents and underwent the abuse.

No Tears For My Father is a wonderful book for the healing of those who have experienced abuse at the hands of a parent. By writing this book, Viga Boland has set the record straight on her own history and freed herself from her father's grasp. By reading her words, other survivors can heal and realize that they are not alone; that others have gone through the same things and survived. It is even good for those going through it currently, in that it gives them the hope to get out. For those readers who have never experienced such abuse, reading this book can help to give them insight into what goes on and how difficult it is for someone to get out. This is a courageous book and one that, as a reader, I am thankful the author took the time to write.

No Tears for my Father

This review is from: No Tears For My Father (Kindle Edition)

Hi Viga.

Well, where do I start and what do I say? I read your book over two nights, crying as I read it. I don't want to patronise you or make you think I pity you, but what an incredible person you are! How you found the strength to write about your experiences, I will never know, but maybe it was cathartic in a way. I am just so pleased that you found John and are spending so many happy years together.

I worked with a young man,********, who had been sexually abused by his father, uncle and grand father over a period of years, with his mother's knowledge, and am so aware of how it has affected his adult life. He struggled with shame, anger, guilt?, loneliness, fear.....so many different emotions, and it was only when we came across a book by Stuart Howarth, who was actually imprisoned for the manslaughter of his abusing stepfather, that ******* began to realise that he was not alone , and began his difficult journey back to happiness and contentment.

I truly admire persons such as yourself for relating their experiences , hard as it may be, but if it helps one tortured soul to realise that these terrible things happen , not just to them but to others too, and there is life after abuse, then well done you!

Survivors of the world unite!.

Thank you so much.

With sincere wishes and gratitude,

Cheri

Barbara

No Tears For My Father reveals the vile nature of incest as it strangles its victim into submission. Suffering years of her father’s brutal tirades and suffocating invasions of her innocent mind and body, Viga is finally freed by love. A gripping and overwhelmingly honest portrayal of a man’s debauched sexual oppression of his young daughter, her longing for escape, and her unrelenting determination to survive.
If you enjoy reading No Tears For My Father by Viga Boland, and are interested in reserving a copy of her upcoming Sequel (as yet untitled) please visit her website at www.vigaboland.com and let her know. Also please “share” this information with your friends to give them the opportunity to do the same.

Jessica Snyder

I'm truly thankful for this book. Viga writes about the raw, ugly realness of incest and abuse. She gave us, as victims/survivors, the ability to realize that our stories can and should be shared in the hopes of healing and inspiring others. This is a book for those sweet souls who have been abused AND for people who have not experienced abuse. Viga has shattered her silence and found her voice magnificently, and my prayer is that all victims/survivors may follow in her footsteps!! You are a true inspiration and I feel honored to have been trusted with your story!!

Lynn Tolson, Author

No Tears for my Father is a memoir about the abuse of a girl at the hands of her father. At the beginning, the author offers a “trigger warning” to protect those who may experience flashbacks while reading and ruminating over the horrible treatment of a precious child. A true story about incest is bound to be an emotionally charged read.

Viga’s style of story telling is straightforward: she stays with the story in a manner that clearly states the torture she suffered. She writes, "That's the way it happened and that's how it must be told." The content is not veiled by vague metaphors, but is conveyed in concise detail. Viga explores the betrayal and brainwashing she endured via the despicable mind-games and manipulations delivered by her father. He was a narcissistic, dangerous, mean-spirited monster who played on her sympathies with his delusions over his own perceived victimhood. Viga was taught by him to bear the responsibility for his well-being; there was no relief for her, from girlhood to adulthood. Meanwhile, her broken mother offered no safety or security, so her depraved father took everything from Viga, body, mind, and spirit. The reader cannot walk away without an understanding of the evil inherent in incest.

The torment Viga was subjected to was a daily occurrence in her seemingly ordinary childhood houses, from Australia to Canada. Nobody could rescue her from her father’s obsessive control vis a vis unfathomable abuse. No one would estimate the depths of her fear of the man who seemed to be an ordinary neighbor. This illustrates the prevalence of abuse in the privacy of homes.

With pictures, poetry, and prose, Viga Boland exposes her vulnerabilities. The reader may comprehend how difficult it is for a writer to share the worst wounds. Yet there is strength to behold as the story unfolds. Both reader and writer are better for having finished this book because it serves as a genuine gift of hope and healing.

Lynn Tolson, author of Beyond the Tears

Debbie Turner

The day my copy of this incredible story arrived, I unwrapped it from it's package and immediately my eyes fell upon the inscription on the inside cover. A personal thank you from the author herself. Viga Boland is a beautiful woman "inside and out" and shares her story from a place deep within her heart and soul. I could not put this book down until I was finished reading it in it's entirety. It just happened that it was a rainy, cold and gloomy day when I broke the spin on my copy and that set the tone for this heart wrenching story of a daughter's unimaginable suffering and a father's unforgivable betrayal. Viga is truly gifted writer. The horrendous accounts of the physical and psychological terror she experienced as a young girl and a young woman at the hands of her father are written with such courage and truth you cannot help but feel as though you are walking through the darkness and abuse right along side of her. A testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Incest is such an insidious form of child abuse and Viga takes the reader on her journey through all the terrifying emotions. As a defenseless child as well as a confused and battered young woman you feel her being torn between what feels right and what definitely feels wrong. The pain, the anger, the shame, the guilt, the humiliation seems to be endless. But Viga does not feel sorry for herself. She has taken everything that happened to her and turned it into something positive, so that other incest victims can also speak out and heal themselves knowing that they are not alone and that what has happened to them is in no way their fault. She wishes all suffers of incest to know that there is a loving community that awaits them to share their own truths. Congratulations Viga. It has been an honor to read your story. Wishing you continued strength to shine your light for others to see clearly that they have the capability to help heal themselves no matter what odds have been stacked against them.

Jennifer Zink

This book is a powerhouse of emotion. I have read many, many books in my life, but there have been just a small number that I was so drawn to that I had to keep reading without putting them down even once; this is one of those jewels. I was drawn to Viga's story not only by the complete honesty in the sharing of this deep and painful part of her life, but also by her ability to draw me into her story as if I was living her life right along with her. As I read along, I was her. I felt her fear, her loneliness, her powerlessness, and her enslavement to a life she did not want or ask for. The end of the story was so well done, so beautifully complete, I felt honored to have followed in Viga's footsteps for those 291 pages.

Everyone should read this book. And, I mean everyone. Why? You don't have to be a current victim or a survivor of abuse (although I think everyone who falls into those categories would find it very, very helpful). People who have loved ones who are victims and survivors will better understand how to care for them and just plain talk with them after reading this book. And for anyone else, well, you all live in a society where abuse is happening all around you. You don't know it, but it is. You do know someone who is being sexually abused, but you just haven't heard about it. Everyone needs to learn more about child abuse. This book can certainly help with that. What happened to Viga can be happening right now to a child living next door to you. It could be happening in your own family. It could be happening under your own roof. Terrifying, but true. Viga's book does more than tell her own story. It blows the roof wide open on child abuse and why people hide from the shame of it. With beautifully honest books like hers, many broken lives can be healed, rebuilt, and possibly even saved from the horrors of sexual abuse.

Rebecca Blissert

I fully intended to put this book down and go to sleep, instead it is nearly 230am and I am writing a review. This book was painfully honest in places with the portrayal of the abuse that occured, but anything less would have belittled and diminished the horrific experience that Viga endured.
The tears flowed as I looked at the stunning young woman cutting her wedding cake, tears from relief that she was finally free from her father, and tears for the young woman who could not see herself as beautiful, then or now.
A stunning book, which sadly so many who have suffered sexual abuse can relate to. Books like these give hope to others who have suffered or are suffering sexual abuse, and are trying to believe it is possible to dig their way out of the deep pit of shame, self-blame and despair that they have been thrown into by their abuser(s)

Jenny Hayworth

A raw honest telling by the author of a childhood lived in fear suffering sexual abuse from her father and her whole life controlled by him until the day she was loved enough to walk away. My heart ached for her as I related at times to the all too familiar disgusting toilet dreams and the all engulfing shame and self blame. The telling of survivors stories is so important so that other survivors can feel less shame when they see put into print that which may have been too scary to acknowledge and which brings out into the light the wrong that the abuser has tried to keep hidden that the abuser alone is responsible for. The author is brave and courageous and her story will help others feel not so alone who have experienced similar atrocities.

Tiffany Zoet

Viga Boland draws you into her disturbing world, so you to live through the terrifying events of her life right along with her. I am stunned...shocked...and haunted by this story, an unforgettable read that you will not be able to put down!

Lee Ann Colas

I couldn't stop reading this book. All the while I was waiting for Viga to finally have her say, to have a voice. I was hoping someone would help her...This is a powerful story, heartrending but inspiring at the same time. Many people may want to read this book in order to really understand the tremendous courage incest survivors must have in order to survive and to make a new life. The intermittent poetry is piercing and somehow reassuring at the same time. I am grateful that the author shared her true story and her true self with us...Thank you!

Kate Walker, Author

Honestly Unforgettable
You might forget a few of the books you pick up this year. But you won’t forget this one. No Tears For My Father is a true story of child abuse, written with an honesty almost as unbelievable as the story itself. As I read, I kept wanting this story not to be true. But truth has its own ring that writers of fiction cannot achieve.
Author, Viga Boland, tells of thirteen years of her life from childhood to young womanhood, during which time she was abused by her father almost daily. In documenting this time, Viga lays herself bare, nothing withheld, yet no histrionics. There’s violence and terror aplenty in this book but the facts are simply owned and plainly told by a courageous heart with no thought of or need for artifice.
I don’t doubt the author chose with care which events to include and which to leave out. Still, I believe this is an instance where life has out-performed art. The drama builds from event to event, year to year, with every dramatic element accounted for, right up to the moment of resolution.
Most compelling for me were the insights the writer brought to bear on her characters. Chapter by chapter, she explores their motives and plumbs their depths, such as the mother’s broken spirit and denial. Or was it just a blind eye? The father’s twisted logic that justified and sanctioned his every act. From what cauldron was this monster born? There are hints, but who can say definitively?
Upon herself, the author throws open the window on ceaseless inner rages, tugs-of-war between guilt and resentment, hope and despair. Through these inner trials we observe first-hand how a mind struggles to hold onto sanity and a spirit holds onto life. Moreover, how a heart goes on seeking love despite there being so little love in her world.
For me, the most heartrending moments of the narrative occurred around lines such as: ‘I was guilty of his sin’ and ‘It took less courage to stay in hell … I was a coward’. This book, though about abuse, is about the human spirit and its ability to rise above the abominable and realise its true, shining nature, its never-sullied worth. For others who’ve suffered the same, this book is a beacon – a promise of healing from one who’s made the trek.

Kate Walker, Award-winning Australian author and teacher

Daliah Husu

“No Tears for My Father is a continual emotional journey that keeps the reader engaged from beginning to end.”
-Daliah Husu-
Author of “I Am Woman: Surviving the Past, the Present, & the Future”


Rarely will you encounter a book that can make you feel a character’s every emotion so candidly and vividly, as Viga Boland’s 'No Tears for My Father'. From the start, Boland draws the reader into the heartbreaking and brutal reality that is her life as a young girl and as a young adult. Throughout her shockingly twisted and unnatural upbringing, it is her yet unrecognized strength that keeps her alive through the endless and merciless years of physical, mental, and sexual abuse at the hands of her father.

Boland’s narrative is so clear, concise, and brutally honest—as a memoir of this topic should be–that it places the reader right into her story, provoking the reader to ask questions, get answers, and then ask some more.

Through her unadulterated approach to storytelling, Viga Boland delivers page after page of fragile and imperfect human emotion that every reader can relate to, even if you’ve never been a victim of sexual abuse.

If you are still asking yourself why a victim of sexual abuse would allow the abuse to continue for so long and never speak up, the truth is you may never know until you’ve read this masterfully written firsthand account by an indisputably unbreakable woman. No Tears for My Father is a solid 5 stars out of 5!