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Reviewed by Stephen Fisher for Readers' Favorite
Ralph Pincus, Occultist Extraordinaire by Marcus Lambert is a fantastical tale about a group of evangelical sorcerers on a crusade to cleanse humanity of evil zombies. Ralph is recruited to the foul mouthed and perverse ring of hunters that includes a vampire, a pastor, and Gabe, who had inherited his father’s position at age five when his father was killed in front of him at their church. It was the first day of vacation Bible school and Finney Quill, a magician dressed as a clown, was to perform. As the show starts, his trunk begins thumping, and a bunch of possessed toy animals begins attacking. Gabe’s father and the priest join in as deadly battle ensues with guns and other weapons, including a flame thrower. Years later, two of the other children involved also joined the group: Gabe’s younger brother Michael, and Ezekiel.
Marcus Lambert tells this tale with a sense of humor in the dialogs that reminded me of a cross between American Werewolf In London and Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction. The action is fast, gory, and not for the meek. Mr. Lambert does an awesome job of using elements of urban fairy tale types - fantasy with gay unicorns, corrupted elves, and their boss. When in dire straits, Lindsey the vampire asks Gabe about his Jesus wishes, and he replies with, “I may have lost count.” A giggling fit took hold of me when Lindsey retorted with, “How can you lose count? There are only three.” This book has everything from sex, drugs, violence, and a fantastic cast of characters with anecdotes that will leave you begging for more.