Scattered, Smothered, and Covered

A Memoir of Resilience

Non-Fiction - Memoir
274 Pages
Reviewed on 07/08/2025
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Author Biography

Sandra Tow holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Queens University of Charlotte. She is an Army veteran who learned to live out of a bag as a child, and she still enjoys feeding the traveling wanderlust. Sandra lives in North Carolina with her husband and three dogs, and she enjoys spending her free time with her family, scouring antique stores for hidden treasures, and always seeking the most flavorful all-the-way cheeseburgers her state has to offer along the way. Her work has appeared in Grief Digest, and Proud to Be: Writing by American Warriors, Volume 11.

    Book Review

Reviewed by Carmen Tenorio for Readers' Favorite

Sandra Tow’s memoir, Scattered, Smothered, and Covered, offers an intimate exploration of her complex relationship with her mother, against a working-class Southern and blue-collar upbringing in the 1970s and 80s. The book traces Tow’s journey from a child who idolized her single mother to an adult grappling with the emotional wounds her mother carried from her own abusive past. Tow vividly portrays her mother as a deeply loving and profoundly influential figure despite her imperfections and unspoken regrets. The memoir unfolds through a series of significant moments from Tow's childhood into adulthood, with chapter titles evocative of song lyrics, framing each stage of her development. While much of the narrative confronts trauma—both familial and external—it also illuminates moments of unexpected joy and comfort. These uplifting experiences act as vital emotional lifelines, grounding Tow and fueling her remarkable resilience. Her ability to endure is rooted in a keen self-awareness, a steadfast refusal to normalize cruelty, and an unwavering determination to break the cycle of inherited pain. Ultimately, the book is a powerful testament to survival, demonstrating how one not only endures but also thrives in the face of abandonment, abuse, and instability. Through clarity, introspection, and fierce resolve, Tow shows that even the smallest sparks of hope can illuminate the path to healing and lead one out of the darkest corners.

Scattered, Smothered, and Covered follows a transformative arc, detailing the author’s personal process of gaining insight, understanding, healing, and ultimately, change. The narrative shifts between periods, memories, and reflections, revealing how struggles, family dynamics, coming-of-age challenges, psychological conflicts and pain, breakdowns, and resistance have shaped her. The true heart of the memoir lies in Tow's internal journey. The pacing, though moderate, often slows to allow for deep reflection and immersion, giving readers ample time to process the profound emotional depth of each scene, all handled with care. The character development is rich, layered, and deeply nuanced, particularly in its exploration of shifting emotional states that border on the contradictory; a parent who’s nurturing yet cruel, broken yet devoted. Themes of betrayal, cruelty, emotional manipulation and hurt, resilience, love, hope, and the search for self-acceptance are woven throughout. More than just a memoir, this is a valuable, inspiring resource for adult children of dysfunctional families, trauma survivors, and therapists seeking healing, validation, emotional honesty, and a way to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma.

Grant Leishman

Scattered, Smothered, and Covered: A Memoir of Resilience by Sandra Tow is different from most memoirs recalling a dysfunctional childhood, and that makes it stand out for many readers. Sandra spent most of her childhood in extreme poverty, moving around various locations in and around North and South Carolina, even as far as Texas and New Mexico. Whether it was living with her grandparents, her aunt, her step-father, or the series of men her mother cohabited with over the years, her family’s existence constantly hovered on the edge of uncertainty. Whilst there were rare times when she felt like she was a normal girl in a normal family, for most of her childhood, she changed schools and sub-standard accommodation with monotonous regularity. Often homeless, and always struggling to make ends meet, Sandy, her two siblings, and their mother somehow navigated the edges of poverty without it destroying their love, their bond, and their future dreams and plans.

Scattered, Smothered, and Covered reveals a young child already wise beyond her years and able to rationally decipher not only her position in the world but also the failings, strengths, and behavior of the adults around her. What impressed me most about this story was Sandy’s innate ability to understand her mother’s emotions and motivations for her actions. Author Sandra Tow’s most endearing feature in this memoir is her ability not to let the failings of her adult role models negatively influence her determination to not only break out of the cycle of poverty but to continue to support her mother and siblings after she achieved success. Most importantly, she was utterly adamant she would not make the same mistakes as her mother and also walk that downtrodden path. Despite the hardship and, at times, despair, Sandy never abandoned her family, and her deep love for her mother and her siblings shone through in every chapter. Ultimately, this is not a depressing story about poverty and dysfunction but rather an uplifting and inspiring memoir that proves the indomitability of the human spirit, even in one so young. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and highly recommend it.

K.C. Finn

Scattered, Smothered, and Covered: A Memoir of Resilience by Sandra Tow is a deeply moving and unfiltered account of growing up in instability, poverty, and generational pain. This is a story that's told with huge emotional clarity and honesty as Tow recounts a childhood shaped by motel rooms, fleeting friendships, and a mother who loved fiercely but was often lost in her own trauma. From learning how to parent herself to navigating a world that offered little stability or protection, the author builds a portrait of survival grounded not in neat resolutions but in grit, grace, and raw honesty. What emerges is a story not only about hardship, but about carving out light in the cracks of a broken system.

Author Sandra Tow has a way of letting you into her world that feels warm and honest, and she writes with aching vulnerability in a story that's deeply personal, but is also able to open itself up to resonate with so many people. Her ability to explore love as both a burden and a balm makes this memoir soar beyond its painful foundations. I was especially moved by the way she treats her younger self with compassion, allowing us to witness a journey that is heartbreaking yet never hopeless. There is nothing performative here, only truth, laid bare in lyrical, often poetic terms. This is not a sanitized trauma story, but one that breathes with life, humor, and defiance. Overall, Scattered, Smothered, and Covered is a profound memoir that testifies to the power of resilience, memory, and the quiet courage it takes to reclaim one’s story, and I would definitely recommend it.