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Reviewed by Francis Mont for Readers' Favorite
Don’t Call Me Widow: How to Support Someone Who Has Lost Their Spouse by Samina Bari is a self-help book that every adult should read to be ready to handle tragedy in someone else’s life, a tragedy we all are bound to encounter sooner or later. It is very well organized around two main topics: To deeply understand what the bereaved person is going through on one hand, and to know what to do and what not to do if we want to help, on the other. There are chapters on the most important aspects of a supporting role, such as how it is not about you, how to put aside your own religious and cultural beliefs, what children of the lone survivor need and don’t need, and what small gestures of kindness can mean to one who has lost the foundation of his or her existence.
I read this book with tears in my eyes because I have recently and unexpectedly lost my wife of 45 years. Samina knows what she is talking about. I found it personally very helpful. No one who has not gone through what the author has could have written this insightful and exceptionally helpful book. It covers every aspect of the topic in clear and concise language, without sounding preachy or pedantic. Every chapter is followed by a short list of reminders, summarizing the essence of what was covered. The appendix is a goldmine of useful checklists for short- and longer-term tasks that support people. It provides help that really makes a difference. I very highly recommend Don’t Call Me Widow by Samina Bari to anyone who wants to offer real and meaningful help to those who need it most.
