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Reviewed by Emma Megan for Readers' Favorite
Held in the Vanishing by Ti Mougne is a memoir about a dutiful daughter who becomes her parents' caregiver. In this book, Mougne talks about the wonderful, unpleasant, draining, and heart-wrenching moments she, her husband, and her son experienced while living with her parents. Mougne recounts how things began to go in the wrong direction when her mother started to show symptoms of dementia that no one in the family recognized and when her father could no longer be trusted with his judgment, forcing her to become the one to fix it all. Revealing how her father's form of Alzheimer's and her mother's rare, brutal form of dementia (PPA) begin and manifest, Mougne also describes how this disease affected everyone, especially her, who, while trying to hold her parents together, was falling apart herself.
Held in the Vanishing is a unique, insightful, and eye-opening memoir told in brief vignettes that shows what it's truly like to be a caregiver for two loved ones with different types of dementia. Ti Mougne effectively captures the emotional toll, chaos, and cruelty of dementia caregiving and shows how, as a caregiver, you may be forced to make decisions that will haunt you. This is a real, raw story of identity, guilt, grief, letting go, enduring love in the face of decline, and what gets rewritten in the quiet. It's for anyone struggling with caring for a loved one with similar conditions. I appreciated that it delivers the brutally honest reality of what the work of caregiving demands, what it takes, and how it reshapes a family and tests one's identity, patience, and devotion.
