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Reviewed by Tommy Wong for Readers' Favorite
How I Think I Should Be Is B***S***: From Hiddenness to Open-Hearted by Eileen Marder-Mirman is a very emotive memoir. The book starts with the first chapter describing how Eileen was born “…I was traumatized, no connection with my mother who was drugged to not feel pain. I was handed off to a stranger who obediently did her duty; it was a cold, sterile room.” This traumatic birth experience affected Eileen deeply. As a child, she unconsciously developed a powerful manifesto: Don't be who you are; stay safe and hidden at all costs. Fortunately, she knew the manifesto was wrong, and decided on a journey to awakening. In How I Think I Should Be Is B***S***, Eileen shares stories from her childhood and adulthood, and many aspects of her awakening journey, such as mothering, loss, and death.
Life cannot be easy when it starts with a traumatic birth experience. I really admired Eileen Marder-Mirman’s courage in sharing her life experiences. As it happened, a large part of her awakening journey was spiritual. I loved the spiritual part of her journey. For example, in the chapter Why Awaken?, Eileen shares her erroneous thinking of healing and spiritual awakening. On the other hand, in the chapter Safety, she shares that prayer and meditation made a huge difference to her body, mind, and spirit. I was also fascinated by her exceptional intuition ability which she shares in the chapter Intuition. For those who are looking for awakening, How I Think I Should Be Is B***S***: From Hiddenness to Open-Hearted is a recommended read.