Out of Step

A Diary To My Dead Son

Non-Fiction - Grief/Hardship
129 Pages
Reviewed on 09/02/2015
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    Book Review

Reviewed by Mamta Madhavan for Readers' Favorite

Out of Step: A Diary To My Dead Son by Suellen Zima is the heart-rending diary entries of a mother to her son whom she abandoned when he was twelve. After losing him, she realizes the magnitude of her loss and her irresponsible behavior which lingers inside her all the time. Through the book, she reveals how the need for being with her son, though he is no more, has not ended. Her feelings of guilt, remorse and regret speak through her words and connect with all those parents who have lost a child. The author writes the memoir not as his birth mother, but as the only mother he knew.

The author's pain is palpable through all the entries and will leave readers pained. It is also helpful to readers to work through their own feelings of pain and guilt and finally be healed. The author shares with readers the conversations she never had with her son, but which she wanted to so that she could reach out to him. The memoir reveals a complicated mother-son relationship and many readers will be able to relate to this.

The memoir covers the issues of adoption, divorce, abandonment and homosexuality. The author shares a few poems as some of her diary entries, opening her heart to readers. It's a book worth reading as the author tries to transcend the barrier of death and communicate with her dead son.